


"I think he looked up to you"

by StryderMel



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Office, Fluff, I tried to keep the non-con to a minimum!, Kinda?, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Who Knows?, Will I finish this?, also just kinda, but not really, childhood crush, close to no angst, denying, idk what this is, mark is an aro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:40:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14904368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StryderMel/pseuds/StryderMel
Summary: After staring at the photo for way too long, Jinyoung sighed, giving the phone back to Jaebeom who still eyed him weirdly. “So, what was that all about? Do you know him?”“I think so, yes. He used to live in the same street as me.”“And you didn’t like him?”“I didn’t say that, but—““Yeah, you didn’t say it, but I know you better than that.”





	1. I’m so dead

Park Jinyoung was a normal 23 year old. He lived with his best friend in a small flat and they both struggled to keep their heads over water financially, but somehow they managed, which brought them to their current situation.

Jinyoung worked in a small advertising agency as the lead copywriter, a position he worked hard for to get. He was quite popular, actually, girls always turned their heads when he walked by – too bad for them that Jinyoung was as gay as humanly possible.

His best friend and roommate, Im Jaebeom, was 24 and worked as an elementary school teacher. He taught music and, well, let’s say he was also very popular. But mostly only with the little 9 year olds.

* * *

“Hyung,” Jinyoung said, turning towards Jaebeom who sat by his table, planning his classes for the next day. The older just hummed, not looking up from his laptop. “When will I get my money?”

That made Jaebeom turn around to face Jinyoung. He raised an eyebrow at him. “What money?”

The younger of the two stood up from the couch to go into the kitchen to get himself a water. “You still haven’t asked Youngjae out, you owe me ten bucks.”

“First of all – I never said I would ask him out, you made that bet with yourself and maybe Jackson – and second, do you not have other things to care about than my love life?”

Jinyoung came back into the room, glass in his hand, a grin on his face. “Nope. You at least have something close to a love life.” He let himself fall down onto the couch again and sighed. “Everyone in the office is either straight or a woman. My life is a heterosexual hell.”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes before shutting his laptop. “Maybe you would get some dick if you actually left the house for more than to go to work and the store.” He got up and plopped down next to Jinyoung, who sighed dramatically. “Don’t give me that, it’s not my fault you’re so lazy.”

“I don’t want a fling. I want the whole fucking mushy lovey-dovey shit. I want to cuddle someone while falling asleep, I want to wake up to a pretty face and I want someone to hug me from behind while I cook for the two of us. That’s what I want.” Jaebeom looked at him somewhat horrified and Jinyoung raised an eyebrow. “Why are you looking at me like that? Admit it, you want Youngjae to be the same thing to you.”

It took Jaebeom a while to snap out of it, then he sighed loudly. “I mean, sure. That’s what I want. I just never thought that this would be something you wanted, too.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes now, pushing at Jaebeom’s shoulders. “I’m not Mark, you know. I might be gay but I still want something solid. Someone whom I won’t grow tired of.”

“I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think that person exists, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung let out another exasperated sigh. “That’s the problem.”

 

Work was very boring today. Not much to do, he already finished everything he had to write the day before, so now Jinyoung only sat in his seat and watched some k-dramas Mark requested to him. He was about to start another one, when his phone rang. “Park Jinyoung, copywriting compartment.”

On the other side of the line he heard Minji’s voice, the small secretary from the front desk, who always blushed when he looked at her. She was adorable, really. But she was sadly also female. “Uhm, sorry to disturb you, Mr. Park, but you have a guest. His name is… Im Jaebeom. Should I let him in?”

Jinyoung couldn’t help but roll his eyes. _What does he want now?_ , he asked himself, but let Minji let him through anyways.

When Jaebeom arrived on his floor, he threw himself onto the couch Jinyoung had in his office and sighed. “Children are so fucking stressful.”

“Oh, it’s nice to see you too, Jaebeom-hyung! My day was amazing, thank you so much for asking, hyung!”

The older of the two glared at him and Jinyoung couldn’t help but stick his tongue out at the other. “Okay, okay, I get it. I’m a horrible friend.” He got up to stand in front of his best friend. “Speaking of which, I need you to do me a favor.”

A groan escaped Jinyoung’s lips. “Oh god, what is it this time? I’m not fake-dating some weird girl again, using your name just to please your parents.”

“No, not this, Jesus, it was a one-time thing, relax!” The older pushed a hand through his hair before sighing. “Listen, I did tell you about Youngjae’s roommate, right?”

Jinyoung tried to think back. “No? I don’t think so? You just told me he had two. One of them was Thai, right?”

Jaebeom nodded. “Yeah, BamBam. But I’m not talking about him right now. It’s about the other one. He is in need of a job, and… well… You can put a good word in for him, right, Jinyoungie? Right?”

“Why? Why do I always have to do those things just so you can get closer to your long-time crush? Just tell him you like him and we’ll be done with it!”

“This is not just about Youngjae, I swear.” He looked pretty earnest, Jinyoung noticed. “I really like his friend. He’s sweet and funny, it’s easy to get along with him. He’s also very hard-working, it’s a shame he wasn’t able to find something for himself yet.”

Jinyoung sighed, once again, for the nth time, and sat down in his seat. He grabbed his phone to create a new note before he stared at the other man. “Fine. What’s his name? I’ll talk to my supervisor about this.”

Jaebeom looked like he could hug the whole world, his grin incredibly wide. “Ah, thank you so much, Jinyoung-ah! He won’t disappoint you!”

“Okay, okay. His name?”

“Kim Yugyeom.”

Jinyoung was about to type it in when he stopped. _Wait._ “Kim Yugyeom?”

The oldest in the room looked at Jinyoung with a raised eyebrow. “Yes? Do you know someone with that name?”

 _Kim Yugyeom_. Why was this name so engraved in his head? “I don’t know? I think I do? Wait a second.” He searched in his contacts for that one person who would be able to refresh his memory. When he found her, he pressed the ‘call’ button and put the phone to his ears.

“Hello?” The voice of his older sister came to his ears and Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile a little.

“Noona! Hey, it’s me.”

“Ohhh, Park Jinyoung! It’s nice to hear from you, what’s going on?”

“I have a quick question… Do you have time right now?”

He heard a chuckle and couldn’t help but grin wider. He really missed his sisters. “If it’s a quick one, sure. I’m listening.”

“Okay, can you tell me why the name _Kim Yugyeom_ sounds so familiar to me?”

It was quiet on the other side for a few seconds. “Ah! Yes, I remember! Kim Yugyeom, he lived down the street. Whenever his parents were at work he came over, mom then took care of him. He was very attached to you. I think he looked up to you?”

Oh. Right. Jinyoung remembered now. Kim Yugyeom, the little brat who just couldn’t leave him alone. He always wanted to play with _Jinyoung’s_ PlayStation, it was so annoying. “Right… Thank you, noona, I remember. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Oh, you better. Boyoung-unnie told me recently how much she misses you. Let’s all get together once we get home for the holidays!”

“Obviously.” He bid his sister goodbye and then groaned loudly. “Hyung… Do you by any chance have a picture of said Yugyeom?”

Jaebeom watched him carefully before pulling out his phone and searching for a minute. When he found a picture, he gave the phone to his best friend who accepted it and looked at the picture. On it he saw Youngjae next to a taller looking male. Most likely Yugyeom. Jinyoung studied the boy. The kid he seemed to vaguely remember was short and maybe a bit chubby. The hairstyle was very similar to his memory though.

After staring at the photo for way too long, Jinyoung sighed, giving the phone back to Jaebeom who still eyed him weirdly. “So, what was that all about? Do you know him?”

“I think so, yes. He used to live in the same street as me.”

“And you didn’t like him?”

“I didn’t say that, but—“

“Yeah, you didn’t say it, but I know you better than that.”

Jinyoung glared at his best friend before the grabbed the company’s phone and made a quick call. “Hello, Mr. Park. It’s Park Jinyoung, from the copywriting compartment. I have someone I would like to hire…”

Jinyoung had never seen Jaebeom happier.

* * *

 “Why are you so scared that the Park Jinyoung Jaebeom-hyung knows is the same Park Jinyoung from your childhood?”

Yugyeom looked up at BamBam, who sat on the couch, feet up on the table, switching through the TV. Youngjae sat beside him, looking through a magazine, although now his attention was on the youngest in the room. “Yes, I wanted to know that, too,” he said, eyes on Yugyeom.

The one in question groaned, flopping down onto the ground. “He’s kinda… my first love.”

The two oldest in the room immediately squealed loudly, before Youngjae tried shutting Bam up. “But the name Jinyoung is so common. How high are the chances that it’s actually him?”

Yugyeom nodded silently, then he fixed his gaze on Youngjae. “How does Jaebeom-hyung’s Jinyoung look, by the way? Is he handsome?”

Youngjae grabbed his phone. “He is. Wait, I think hyung has a picture with him up on Instagram.” He searched for a few seconds, then he called Yugyeom closer. “There.”

The youngest shuffled towards the couch and grabbed the phone. He wished he hadn’t.

Because on the photo he could clearly see Jaebeom and right next to him… Park Jinyoung. The one and only Jinyoung who really hasn’t changed, not even in 7 years and still looked incredibly beautiful. Yugyeom was definitely cursed.

“Fuck me.”

BamBam raised an eyebrow. “Does he actually look that good?”

Yugyeom whined. “No—I mean, yes, but… He also still looks the fucking same.”

Youngjae’s eyes immediately went soft. “So it is the Jinyoung you knew in your hometown?”

The maknae nodded, handing the phone back to its owner and lying down on the floor to hopefully die a painless death soon.

It obviously didn’t get better, because suddenly Youngjae’s phone dinged with the special sound that only came when Jaebeom messaged him. He read it and cringed a little, glancing down at his roommate. "Yugyeomie… You’ll have your first work day tomorrow… And Jaebeom-hyung said I should tell you that Park Jinyoung wants me to bring you the message: ‘I’ll see you then, Yugyeom-ah. Don’t you dare oversleep or call me _hyung_. You also won’t be able to play a PlayStation game here, you’re aware of that, right?’”

Yugyeom groaned, he actually heard his voice in his head and – fuck, Kim Yugyeom. _I’m so dead._


	2. So you think he's hot?

Jinyoung sat in his office, balancing a pencil on his finger when the phone rang. He picked up. “Park Jinyoung, copywriting compartment.”

Minji’s voice reached his ears. “Uhm, Mr. Park… There’s a man here, named Kim Yugyeom, who said he’ll be working here from now on, in your compartment?”

The male couldn’t help but smirk. “That’s correct. Let him through.” He hung up and leaned back in his chair, a lazy smile on his face. Somehow he couldn’t wait to see Yugyeom in front of him. He wondered if the boy still was as shy as he was when he was a kid.

A few minutes after the call there was a knock on the door and Jinyoung shouted: “Come in.”

And in came Kim Yugyeom. Honestly, he looked different from the picture he saw of the boy next to Youngjae. Firstly, he was tall. Very tall. Probably 6 feet tall. He also didn’t wear an oversized hoody, but a suit, which made him look slim and serious. It also suddenly dawned on Jinyoung that Yugyeom was hot. _Get a grip, Park Jinyoung._

He cleared his throat and stood up to greet the younger. Once he stood in front of him, he extended his hand for Yugyeom to take. The taller male hesitated for a few seconds before shaking the other’s hand and Jinyoung smiled. “Welcome to the company, Kim Yugyeom-sshi. My name is Park Jinyoung. I will be your supervisor. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.”

Yugyeom just stared at him for a few seconds before he nodded, bowing down in front of Jinyoung. “Uhm, yes, thank you, sir. I won’t disappoint you.”

Jinyoung grinned at him. “You really haven’t changed,” he mumbled before taking a step back. Yugyeom’s cheeks became pink and Jinyoung found that to be very endearing. “So, Yugyeom-sshi. Let me show you around.”

Jinyoung showed the younger everything he needed to know, his workplace, the toilets, the kitchen and the break room. By the end of the guide, Jinyoung showed him his desk and how to operate the computer. Yugyeom learned fast, he watched with careful eyes and in a matter of minutes, he was able to start working.

Jaebeom wasn’t lying, the boy really _was_ hardworking. And cute. _Goddammit._

 

Once the clock struck 5pm, Jinyoung got up to let Yugyeom know that it was the end of his day. He walked out of his office into the worker’s space and walked towards the younger’s desk. Around him, everyone was already getting ready to leave, some even passed him on their way out, quickly bowing to him as they hurried home.

But not Yugyeom.

He still sat at his desk, deep in thought, his desktop full with words, more than Jinyoung had expected. He got closer to the younger and tipped him on the shoulder. “Yah, Yugyeom-ah. It’s the end of your working day. Shut the computer down and go home. And don’t forget to save everything.”

Yugyeom glanced up at him and raised an eyebrow. “What is with the informal speech?”

Jinyoung shrugged. “As I said, the day is over. You’re not my employee now, you’re just Kim Yugyeom, the little brat from my hometown.” He smiled at the younger, but all he got back was a snort. The younger turned back to his work to save his files and shut off his computer. “Yah, did you just snort at me?”

“Yes, I did, _hyung_.” Yugyeom said as he got up and grabbed his bag. After that he looked down at the older and sighed. “I’m sorry that I was such an inconvenience 7 years ago. I’ll probably see you tomorrow. Say hello to Jaebeom-hyung, will you?” With that he left the building and Jinyoung couldn’t help the little smile that came over his face.

“Sure, will do, Yugyeom-ah! See you tomorrow!” He called after his employee and then went back to his office. He already enjoyed working at this company more than before.

* * *

 

Once Yugyeom had the door closed behind him, the questioning began.

“So, how was it?”

“Did he say anything weird to you?”

“Did you do well?”

“Did he compliment you?”

“Bam, stop—Is the work okay? Did he overwork you, or—“

“Did he check out your butt?!”

“BamBam!”

Yugyeom pushed past his friends and went straight to the kitchen. He grabbed a coke from the fridge and then threw himself onto their couch. “It was okay,” was all he said.

“Okay?!” BamBam sounded offended. “So I take it you did _not_ make out in a broom closet?”

Youngjae rolled his eyes, although Yugyeom noticed a small smile gracing his lips. “Can you just shut up? We don’t even know if Jinyoung-hyung swings that way.”

The youngest in the room took another sip of his beverage before sighing. “He probably doesn’t. But, like—he really hasn’t changed. Not at all. He’s still that stupid control freak who won’t stop teasing me for stupid shit. But… when I say that he hasn’t changed… he said the same thing about me.” Once again Yugyeom’s cheeks felt warm and BamBam squealed as he threw himself at his best friend, hugging his arm. “Ah—Bam, careful! I almost spilled my coke!”

BamBam, surpisingly, (note the sarcasm) didn’t listen as he squealed once again. “Oh, Yugyeom-ah. He must remember you very well! He probably had a giant crush on you as well! Aish, I can’t wait for my best friend to finally get some ass so he can stop whining all day long!”

“He called me a brat, Bam-ah… It’s impossible that he thought any more of me than that. I was probably the biggest inconvenience possible in his life.”

Youngjae sat down on Yugyeom’s other side and lay an arm around his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Yugyeom-ah. I could ask Jaebeom-hyung about his sexuality? He probably knows more about that than any of us could. I could also ask what Jinyoung thinks of you now, not what he thought of you when you were basically just children.”

Yugyeom thought about it for a second – he didn’t really want snooping in his love life – he didn’t even know if he really still liked Jinyoung. Sure, he looked like a fucking god, especially in a suit – Yugyeom was going to hell for thoughts like this, but what is a bisexual man to do?! On the other hand, there was no way the younger would actually ever have enough courage to ask Jinyoung about it himself – he couldn’t even look the older in the eyes properly.

“You know what? Sure,” he heard himself say more than actually feel it leaving his throat and mouth.

Youngjae nodded and grabbed his phone while BamBam wriggled in excitement next to him.

Oh god, what did Yugyeom get himself into?

* * *

 

Jinyoung closed the flat’s door behind himself and heaved a deep sigh.

“Oooh the boss is here! So, how was work?” Jaebeom sat on the couch, phone in hand, a smirk on his lips.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes at his noisy roommate as he fell down on the couch next to him. “Give me a break, it’s hard enough for me to admit that he’s actually very hard-working.”

Jaebeom nodded before sitting up. “Speaking about Yugyeom… Why is Youngjae asking me about your sexuality?” The younger’s head whipped around immediately, looking at his best friend questioningly. “Did you by any chance… Let your gay shine out too much?” Jaebeom eyed him critically.

Jinyoung pushed at his shoulder, rapidly shaking his head. “No! Why would I? Because of that brat?! Yeah, right!”

The older pursed his lips as he focused his attention back on his phone and started typing something. “I’m gonna tell Youngjae that you don’t want to talk about it.”

“That already screams: ‘Yup, he’s gay as fuck!’”

“Well, you are.” Jaebeom glanced up, smirking once again. “You like him though, don’t you? You’re intrigued by him.”

Jinyoung got up to get himself something to drink. “Liking someone and being intrigued by them are two totally different things.” He grabbed a glass and poured himself some water before going back to Jaebeom. “Let’s just say he grew up well, how about that?”

Jaebeom nodded, typing into his phone again. “So you think he’s hot?”

“I never said that!” The younger of the two exclaimed loudly, feeling slightly flustered.

“Hey, nothing wrong with that! He _is_ hot.”

The younger in the room couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Don’t let your eyes wander too far, Yugyeom may be hot, but Youngjae is cute.”

Jaebeom grinned at his friend. “You just admitted it.”

“Shut up!”

* * *

 

“’Jinyoung doesn’t really want to talk about his sexuality, sorry! But he said that Yugyeom grew up well and complimented his appearance. I think those two could get along pretty well, don’t you, Youngjae-yah?’” Youngjae read the message out loud before glancing down at Yugyeom. “Sounds pretty promising to me.”

BamBam was basically lying on top of Yugyeom right now, clapping his hands happily. “Wooh! Not wanting to talk about ones sexuality? Gaaay! And saying you grew up well? Saying you’re good-looking? Dude, he got an instant crush on you, GET THE BOILING WATER!”

Yugyeom rolled his eyes at his best friend, pushing him off and getting up to pour himself a cup of hot chocolate, sighing loudly. “You’re reading too much into this, Bam. He just hasn’t seen me in years, also never in a suit. The last time he saw me, I was shorter than him, too, so he was probably just surprised.”

“Surprised that you became such a hottie, probably!”

Youngjae snickered as he typed something into his phone. “He has a point though. Why wouldn’t Jinyoung-hyung talk about his sexuality? He never seemed like the type who would be embarrassed for being gay to me. Either he doesn’t want you to realize that he has the hots for you or he’s scared of your reaction to him being homosexual.” The oldest of the three shrugged. “You never know.”

“ _I_ _do_ know. Life is not that easy,” he heaved a sigh before downing his beverage and putting the cup into the sink. “Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m not into him anymore, it’s been seven years, I am done with men.”

BamBam snorted. “That’s not what you said after you broke up with Jinsook.”

Youngjae nodded. “I remember you saying, specifically, that you will only settle for men and that you are done with _women_.”

The youngest in the room shook his head. “No! That’s not what I said! I said I was done with _girls_. I’m gonna find myself a noona.”

“Jinyoung-hyung could be a noona,” Youngjae said, pursing his lips. “Didn’t he grow up with only girls?”

“Yeah, he has two older sisters. He grew up playing with dolls. He had this Barbie doll that I broke by accident and he was so mad at me he threw me out and I started crying. When his mother heard me she yelled at him for ten minutes and he had to apologize to me. Those were the good old days.”

Bam laughed. “I honestly can’t imagine you crying, Gyeom. I’ve known you for six years now and I just can’t imagine you crying.”

Yugyeom shrugged. He didn’t cry very often. If he happened to feel _that_ bad, he would always hide from his friends. In a way, he always blamed Jinyoung for his fear of letting other people see him cry. It’s not really surprising, considering the older always laughed at him when he saw tears running down Yugyeom’s cheeks. “What an ass,” he whispered, before retreating into his bedroom. “Good night, guys. I’m beat.”

“Night, Yugyeomie,” Youngjae shouted after him. “Dream about Jinyoung-hyung, okay?”

Yugyeom might or might not have flipped Youngjae off before the door fell shut behind him.


	3. A grown-up with a job

“One woman has already left  
Even though a man is still singing  
I’m tearing up at the thought of break up“

Jinyoung reached a hand towards his night stand to shut the alarm off, but he couldn’t find his phone anywhere. He frowned when suddenly his door opened and room lit up. The man immediately pulled the blanket over his head, not even caring about the alarm anymore.

Jaebeom chuckled as he came in and shut the alarm off for him. Jinyoung could imagine the older shaking his head. “Come on, Jinyoung. I’ll have to leave now. Get up and get ready. You know I’ll find out and kick your ass if you leave without eating breakfast again.”

“Yes, dad,” Jinyoung mumbled, throwing the covers off him as Jaebeom left the room. Truth be told, Jinyoung didn’t sleep a lot. He probably slept for approximately two hours, his thoughts too occupied with a certain someone.

 _Fuck_ , he thought, tossing around violently. _I can’t develop a crush on this little punk just because he’s kinda pretty._ (Okay, he’s really pretty, give Jinyoung a break.)

He sighed heavily before pulling himself up, glancing at his phone. It was 7:34am, Jinyoung had almost an hour to get ready. The man went to use the toilet before brushing his teeth and combing his hair. He shuffled out of the bathroom into the kitchen and made himself a small breakfast – just a simple toast with cheese, western style – and changed his clothes.

Once he was fully clothed, he glanced at the clock. It read 8:23am – a little too early for Jinyoung to leave yet, but the man decided to head out anyway and maybe relax in his office before his day starts.

He reached the company at 8:36am and parked his car in his personal spot, smiling to himself, still proud to have accomplished this, all alone, through hard work.

Jinyoung went through the main door and – as if he was the only one in the room – his eyes immediately found Yugyeom, leaning on the main desk, chatting away with Minji. She noticed him first, bowing immediately and smiling, the usual blush already on her cheeks. “Good morning, sir! You’re early!”

The older man nodded, smiling politely. “Good morning, Minji. Yes, I guess I am.” He the turned to the other male and his smile formed itself into a smirk. “Good morning, Kim Yugyeom-sshi. How are you today?”

Yugyeom glared at him for two whole seconds, before showing a very forced smile. “Good morning, Mr. Park. I am fine, thank you very much. But sir, you look very tired, are you okay? Did you not sleep enough?”

“You little—“ Jinyoung immediately launched forward, grabbing Yugyeom into a headlock. “The day has not yet started, I will kill you before it does, Kim Yugyeom!”

The boy in his grip squirmed as he tried to rid himself of the arms around his neck. “Hyung, stop that! If you mess my hair up, I will be the one to kill you!”

Jinyoung laughed out loud, letting go of the younger male, grinning and cooing at him. “Ah, so cocky, our little puppy.”

Yugyeom blushed in a matter of milliseconds. “Can you not—how do you even remember that nickname?!”

“It was my mom’s favorite, how could I forget?” He sighed, looking at Minji for a few seconds (who seemed extremely disoriented) before looking back at his employee. “Anyways, come on, Gyeom-ah, let’s go up.”

A sigh escaped the younger’s lips before he bowed to the secretary and followed his hyung to the elevators. They got into one together and Jinyoung pressed the button to the 5th floor. “Hey, hyung…”

Jinyoung stared at the changing numbers, not even looking back at Yugyeom as he hummed a quiet: “Hmm?”

“Is Jaebeom-hyung gay?”

Just as he ended that sentence, the elevator came to a stand and Jinyoung almost lost his footing. He grasped onto the next thing he could reach – which was unfortunately Yugyeom’s arm. He immediately let go, blushing slightly. “Excuse me, what?”

Yugyeom pursed his lips as he put his right hand on the elder’s lower back and pushed him out of the elevator. “You heard me.”

Jinyoung’s thoughts were running a million miles an hour. _Why does he care about Jaebeom’s sexuality? Does he like him? Does this mean he himself is into guys? Is that his hand on my back?!_ Eventually he cleared his throat and turned towards the younger. “I did hear you, but… Why do you need to know?”

Yugyeom bit his lips, looking to the ground and dread filled Jinyoung suddenly. “It’s just… he seemed like he was. Is he not?”

“What will you do with such information anyway—“ The older of the two stopped short, eyes going wide. “Youngjae likes him, right?”

Immediately Yugyeom’s eyes grew in size as well, looking alarmed. “Uhm—“

Jinyoung clapped his hands excitedly. “I fucking knew it! It’s so obvious that they’re into each other, but no, Jaebeom is too much of a pussy to ask the boy out, typical, really.”

“So, wait—Jaebeom-hyung is into Youngjae-hyung? So he _is_ gay, right?” Yugyeom’s eyes sparkled now.

The smaller male looked at the taller one in front of him, eyeing him up and down. “I mean, he isn’t straight, that much I can tell you but I won’t go around talking about the sexuality of my friends. Because that’s what a _good friend_ does,” he added, grumbling somewhat annoyed.

He heard Yugyeom snicker behind him. Turning around, the older glared at his employee, they both obviously knew what he was talking about. And true to his thoughts, the younger spoke up: “Jaebeom-hyung didn’t tell us much, though. Only said you didn’t want to talk about it.”

As Jinyoung stepped into his office, Yugyeom followed him. He wanted to send the younger out, but on second thought he knew they would have to have this talk sooner or later. “Why did you guys even ask him? What does my sexuality matter?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Yugyeom answered, as he looked around the room. “But I kinda had this feeling about you, you know?” Jinyoung glanced at him and their eyes met. The smaller male looked questioningly at his childhood acquaintance and the one in question sighed. “I just have an eye for gays, let’s put it like this.”

Jinyoung turned away from the other and sat down at his desk. “Listen, I’m surrounded by queers all day, maybe that made you think that.”

“So you are straight.”

“I didn’t say that.”

Yugyeom was full on whining now. “Then what is it, hyung?”

Jinyoung let out a snicker before sighing. “Gays like to surround themselves with gays – I don’t know why or how the science works, but that’s just how it is.” Yugyeom opened his mouth once again but Jinyoung decided to cut him off. “Yes, I am gay. Jesus Christ, Yugyeom. Do you have a problem with that?”

Immediately the younger reeled back, looking alarmed once again. “No, of course not! Most of my friends are LGBTQ—now that I think about it, all of them are…”

The older couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Good to know.” He glanced at his clock and noticed the time. “Hey, the day starts in four minutes. Go set yourself up, will you, Gyeom-ah?”

“Yeah, I’ll leave you alone, don’t worry, hyung,” he answered, rolling his eyes, although there was a smile on his face. He left the room waving to his hyung and Jinyoung couldn’t help but wave back.

This kid will most likely be the death of him.

* * *

 

Yugyeom groaned at his screen before glancing at the clock in the bottom right corner – he only had five minutes left until his break, so he took a deep breath and tried to concentrate once again. And with that he meant, not thinking about how Jinyoung was actually gay, giving Yugyeom some kind of hope that could easily be shattered. He was aware of how wrong and dangerous it was of him to imagine the two of them as more than just _friends_ —although they couldn’t even call each other that yet.

He sat in his chair, nibbling on his thumb when his gaze fell onto the clock again. Realizing that he just sat around for ten minutes, thinking about Jinyoung, and that he was late for his break, he saved his work and locked his computer.

Grabbing the lunchbox Youngjae prepared for him, he decided to do something that might actually get him killed – he walked into Jinyoung’s office without even so much as a knock.

The older visibly flinched when the door opened and Yugyeom couldn’t help but smile – that was until he noticed that Jinyoung was talking to someone on the phone. He smiled apologetic before closing the door behind him and setting down on the office’s couch.

“Ah—yeah, I’m fine. No, no, nothing happened. I will make sure to get the document to you by the end of the week… Uh-huh. Yes. Thank you, sir.” Jinyoung put the phone down, immediately glaring at the younger. “What the hell was that?”

Yugyeom just kept smiling at him, opening his lunchbox and grinning. “Ah, Youngjae-hyung made me rice~ So considerate!” He glanced up at Jinyoung once more, a smirk on his lips this time. “I thought it’d be nice to eat here—you know, just so you wouldn’t feel so lonely, in this big, big, empty office of yours.”

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow before he got up from his chair. He walked around his desk and approached Yugyeom slowly. He eyed him judgingly before falling onto the couch right next to the younger. “Yeah right. You probably just don’t want to make friends… Are you shy?”

“Shy?” Yugyeom looked at the older who just nodded. “I’m not shy – I was never shy! I made a friend today already! Minji-ya!”

“Minji- _ya_?” Jinyoung asked and the taller man smiled happily, nodding his head. “Are you the same age?”

The younger once again nodded his head, swallowing the rice he had previously stuffed into his mouth. “Yeah, she is a few months older than me, but nothing too drastic.” Yugyeom thought for a second before humming. “She has a crush on you, you know?”

Jinyoung sighed as he leaned back onto the couch. “Yeah, I know. It’s hard to miss. But I’m just… not interested in that type of person.”

“You mean _a woman_?”

“Exactly.”

Yugyeom actually snorted at that, shaking his head slightly. He felt his hyung nudging him and he turned to meet his eyes. “What?” He asked.

The shorter male just shrugged, looking up at the ceiling. “Never mind. So, how is work? Are you enjoying yourself? Is everyone treating you right?”

Glancing back at his food, Yugyeom hummed once again. “Sure. I don’t really talk to the others… My attention is usually on the computer in front of me. The others always talk to each other, though. It can be distracting.”

He heard Jinyoung sigh and turned towards him. “Gyeom, you should at least _try_ to make some friends. And enjoy yourself. You’re hard-working enough, you don’t need to carry the whole company.”

“I never said I’d carry it…” Yugyeom pouted slightly before he felt a hand pinching his cheek. “Yah! Hyung!” He pushed it away.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, standing back up and stretching himself. “Stop pouting like that. You’re a grown-up, act like that. A grown-up with a job.” He snatched a piece of meat from Yugyeom’s lunchbox before sitting back down in his chair. “Speaking about jobs, I still have a lot of stuff to work on, I’ll probably stay overtime today…” He sighed heavily, punching something into his keyboard. “Eat quickly and then get back to work. Your day ends at 5pm, I won’t be able to see you off, so pay attention to the time, okay?”

Yugyeom followed Jinyoung with his eyes before nodding. “Okay, hyung.” He finished his lunchbox as quickly as he could before packing up his things again. He went to the door before turning around and smiling at his hyung. “I’ll get back to work then. See you tomorrow, yeah?”

The older glanced up, smiling back at the younger. “Sure. Goodbye, Yugyeomie.”

And when Yugyeom stepped out of the office, he felt a wide grin on his face – but he would never admit that to anyone.


	4. I was kinda jealous of you

Jinyoung was sitting at his desk, glancing at the clock and sighing. It was already 5:15pm, Yugyeom was hopefully already on his way home. He thought about checking if anyone was still in the office, but he decided against it. Taking a deep breath, Jinyoung turned to his computer again and began typing when there was a knock on the door. Confused and with a raised eyebrow he said: “Yes?”

The door opened, revealing a sheepish looking Kim Yugyeom on the other side.

“What—“ Jinyoung stood up from his seat and pointed a finger at the younger. “You’re supposed to be home! What are you still doing here?”

The taller male stepped into the room, closing the door behind him, frowning slightly. “Well… The thing is… It’s raining outside, hyung… And I have no umbrella.” Jinyoung glanced out the window and true to the younger’s words, it was pouring. “I already clocked out—if you’re worried about that. I just wanted to ask if I could wait here until in quiets down…”

The older of the two bit his lip, glancing at his computer once before looking at Yugyeom again. “You could’ve also waited in the lobby, you know?”

“I know, but… Everyone already left, it’s like a ghost town down there… I don’t like it. I’d rather sit here where there’s another breathing person.”

Jinyoung nodded. Being all alone in a giant room could be pretty scary, he had to admit. “Fine. Just sit there.” He pointed to the couch Yugyeom already lounged on a few hours prior before sitting back down into his chair.

Yugyeom moved towards the couch and sat down before a yawn escaped him. “Oh, hyung… Would you mind if I took a quick nap?”

The shorter male took a deep breath before shaking his head, his attention on his work again. “Nah, go ahead. I’ll wake you once it stops raining.”

“Thank you”, Yugyeom said, his voice soft.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Jinyoung could see how Yugyeom lay down. He took one of the pillows and made himself comfortable. He seemed to position himself in a way that made him face Jinyoung. If the older wasn’t mistaken, Yugyeom was watching him through lidded eyes, although he tried to ignore it for the sake of getting his work done.

 

Tired – that’s what Jinyoung was. Annoyed, maybe even a little angry. Why did the boss put work like this always on him? He pushed his keyboard away, glaring at the open document on his desktop. He would finish that tomorrow, today he had absolutely no nerve for it left.

He got up and stretched himself before his eyes fell unto the body lying on his couch. Yugyeom’s eyes were closed, his breathing even. He had his right hand tucked under his right cheek, his left hand dangling off the side of the couch.

Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile at that picture in front of him. He got a little closer, kneeling down next to the younger’s face. While asleep, the younger looked so much more like the kid Jinyoung knew in his childhood. Truth be told, the older always liked watching Yugyeom sleep. It relieved stress, in the weirdest way possible.

Jinyoung reached forward, carefully, slowly, to brush the hair off the younger’s forehead. He held his breath when the other’s eyebrows furrowed, but once his face relaxed, Jinyoung let out the breath he was holding.

Standing up again, the elder went to his computer, saving his progress and shutting the device off. He grabbed his phone and put it into his jeans pocket before making his way over to Yugyeom again. Standing in front of him, he leaned down a bit, shaking him by his shoulder. “Yugyeom-ah… Hey, Gyeomie…”

The younger whined a little before his eyes slowly opened, glaring at Jinyoung for only a millisecond, then his eyes got immediately soft. Jinyoung was sure that was his imagination.

“Come on, Gyeom. It’s late, let’s go home.”

Yugyeom sat up, stretching his long limps before standing up. His legs were a little wobbly at first, so Jinyoung reached over, steadying the younger. “Thanks”, he mumbled, cheeks dusted a little pink-ish.

Jinyoung just smiled at him as he grabbed his coat. He opened the door and waved Yugyeom through who hummed approvingly. He bowed to the older and then left the room, Jinyoung following him down the hall after locking the room up.

They arrived in the lobby, no one has said a word on their way down and Jinyoung silently clocked out of work. Afterwards he heaved a heavy sigh before checking if anyone was still in in the building. Obviously that wasn’t the case – it was already 8:47 pm, no one ever stayed past 7 pm, not if they could prevent it.

So it was on him to lock up. “Gyeom-ah, I’ll be back in a second, I gotta turn off the power.” Yugyeom just nodded as Jinyoung jogged down into the control room, shutting everything off except for the refrigerators and the alarm system. He then signed the paper, confirming that he was the one who took care of it and hurried up the stairs again,

Yugyeom was still standing in the same place, looking at the emergency power lighs.

“Okay, let’s go.” Both of them stepped outside, it was still pouring.

As Jinyoung locked the door and activated the alarm with his phone, Yugyeom groaned next to him. “Why is it still raining? It got even worse! I have to walk to the bus station in this weather!”

The older of the two chuckled before wrapping and arm around the other’s shoulder. “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

Yugyeom had no time to decline because Jinyoung immediately started to pull him towards the parking lot, opening his car and shoving the younger into the passenger seat. As he walked around the car and settled into the driver’s seat, Yugyeom fastened his seatbelt and glared at the other. “Now I owe you something. You did this in purpose, didn’t you, hyung?”

The shorter male snorted as he started the car. “Yeah, that was my motive. I am so evil!” He then started the navigation system and glanced at the boy next to him. “Your address?” The younger groaned loudly but told him anyways. “Oh, your apartment is actually on my way. Jaebeom should’ve told me that.”

“Why is it important?” Yugyeom asked, raising an eyebrow. “So you can drive past me as I stand at the bus stop?”

“No, so I can pick you up in the mornings and bring you home every now and then.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes, annoyed, as he backed out of the parking lot and focused on the street. “You really think I’m the devil, huh?”

It took a few seconds for the younger to answer. “It’s just…” A sigh escaped him and Jinyoung looked at him from the corner of his eyes. “Back when we were younger… Let’s just say you weren’t the kindest to me.”

Guilt spread in his stomach as Jinyoung looked at the streets again. “I know.” The silence was heavy around them. “And I’m sorry for that. But I was a kid, a stupid one, too…” He took a deep breath and made a right turn. “Honestly speaking, I was kinda jealous of you.”

“Jealous?” Yugyeom raised an eyebrow. “Why jealous?”

“My mom always loved you so much.” Jinyoung was pulling up in front of the apartment complex and turned towards the younger. “Sometimes it felt like she would rather have you as her son.”

A snort came from the other. “That’s stupid and we both know it.”

The older rolled his eyes, throwing his hands in the air, gesturing wildly. “Yeah, _now_ I know! But as a teenager, logic wasn’t really with me, okay?”

“As a teenager, huh…”

Jinyoung hit Yugyeom’s arm lightly, rolling his eyes once again. “Shut up and get out of my car, you’re annoying.”

The younger was about to undo his seatbelt when he stopped. The other male raised an eyebrow while Yugyeom hesitated. “Uh… Hyung… Would you like to come in? I’ll make you coffee, you know, as a thank you for driving me home.” _A coffee? Isn’t that a way to ask someone to stay the night…?_ Yugyeom must’ve sensed that the older was reading too much into this because he suddenly exclaimed: “It’s not what you think! Youngjae and BamBam will be there, too, so…”

While Jinyoung was relieved, he still wanted to tease the younger, at least a little bit. “Woah, you really think that because I’m gay I will now take everything you say in a sexual way? Isn’t that homophobic?” He tried to make his voices sound as playful as possible and Yugyeom seemed to get it, since he was the one who rolled his eyes now. As Jinyoung unbuckled his seatbelt, he added: “For that you definitely owe me a coffee now.”

The boy exited the car, but Jinyoung could hear Yugyeom mutter something under his breath, something that sounded like “I invited you anyways”.

* * *

 

The way up to Yugyeom’s apartment was quiet. The younger fidgeted in place, glancing at the other every once in a while. He was suddenly nervous – remembering that BamBam was probably home. And wherever Bam was, his big mouth was obviously with him.

As the two office workers approached the door, Yugyeom fumbled for his keys. He found them and released a deep sigh before unlocking the door and stepping into the apartment. “I’m home,” he called out.

Jinyoung didn’t even make it inside when Youngjae’s loud voice rang through the flat. “Kim Yugyeom!” It sounded like his voice came from the kitchen and the youngest started cringing. “I called you a thousand times, sent you messages, _so many messages_! You better have a good explanation, like, _I was suddenly murdered on the streets_ , or _Ji—_ “ He rounded the corner, stopping short the second he saw Jinyoung standing behind the scolded boy. “Oh.”

“Hey, Youngjae-yah,” Jinyoung said, smirking at the younger who was now blushing.

“Hey, hyung… Uhm, sorry for that outburst… I was just… worried.”

Yugyeom couldn’t help but snort. “I’m an adult, you know? I can take care of myself.” He glanced into the living room and raised an eyebrow. “Where’s Bam?”

Youngjae heaved a sigh before he made his way into said open space. “He’s talking to his crush on the phone.”

The youngest in the room just nodded, turning to Jinyoung. “I’m gonna get your coffee, hyung. You can go ahead and join Youngjae-hyung in the living room.” The older male just nodded as he followed Youngjae while Yugyeom made his way into the kitchen to prepare Jinyoung’s beverage.

When he stepped into the living room; cup of coffee in the left hand, box with sugar cubes in the right one and a bottle full of milk under his right arm. He put everything down in front of Jinyoung, who smiled at him softly, making Yugyeom’s heart do a summer sault.

He glanced to his right and saw Youngjae smiling knowingly, so he just rolled his eyes. About to sit down next to Jinyoung, the oldest suddenly spoke up. “Uh, hey, could I get a spoon?”

Damn, he knew he had forgotten something. Yugyeom stood again, ready to go to the kitchen, when a hand on his arm stopped him. “I’ll get it. Sit down, Gyeom. You must be tired.” Youngjae pushed the younger down again and made his way out of the living room.

The oldest sighed as he rested his back into the cushions. Then his eyes roamed the room. “I like your apartment. It’s pretty big and nicely furnished.”

Yugyeom smiled as he looked around as well. “Yeah, it’s amazing, isn’t it? I mean, it’s definitely worth the price. Bam renovated the most, he really has a talent.”

“That BamBam…” The younger’s eyes snapped to Jinyoung, who was still looking around the room. “What is he like? I haven’t met him yet.”

“BamBam is…” Yugyeom found it hard to find a fitting word for his best friend.

“Special,” Youngjae finished for him as he came out of the kitchen, handing the oldest in the room a teaspoon. Jinyoung thanked him. “He is really on of a kind. He gets along very well with Jackson, if that tells you anything.”

“Oh god.” Jinyoung actually managed to look terrified, which surprised the younger a little. He didn’t know that Jinyoung knew Jackson. But – thinking about it, he probably met Youngjae on one of those obnoxious parties the Chinese liked to throw – he must know Jackson to some extent.

Yugyeom snorted. “I get along with Jackson, too! And I’m not _special_.”

“Oh, you _are_ special, sweetheart,” Youngjae said, throwing his arms around the youngest, who swatted him away. “And what do you mean, you ‘get along with Jackson’? You barely even see him! You never come to his parties.”

Jinyoung looked at him and nodded. “Right. I can’t recall ever seeing you there, Gyeom-ah.”

The tall boy groaned, leaning into the arm rest to his right. “I hate his parties. He always has to out-do himself, every single time, it’s annoying. Didn’t he have a bouncing castle last time?”

“Yeah and Mark accidentally put a hole into it,” Jinyoung recalled, snorting into his coffee.

Youngjae suddenly started laughing out loud. “Oh my god, yes! I was on it with him, but he was already very drunk so he forgot to take off his shoes and one thing led to the other.”

They all snickered at the thought and memory of it, when suddenly the door to BamBam’s room opened and the Thai boy came out, looking confused. “Y’all are too loud.”

Yugyeom grinned at his best friend. “Sorry about that, Bam. Listen, I want to introduce you to my boss, Park Ji—“

“Woah! The childhood friend Park Jinyoung! The ‘sexual orientation unknown’ Park Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung’s eyes grew in size while he stared at the white haired boy. Yugyeom was about to say something – maybe try to make the awkwardness go away, when the oldest spoke up himself: “Ah, you’re the guy who’s always running after Jackson at his paried!”

Okay, that was definitely _not_ what Yugyeom expected the older to say. But he also didn’t expect the following words from Bam: “And you’re the guy who always sits alone at the bar and drinks himself into oblivion!”

The two of them then proceeded to talk about—Yugyeom didn’t even know, if he was completely honest. He wasn’t even listening, too surprised by how well Jinyoung and BamBam got along. It was the least thing he expected, but it was nice, so he leaned back and watched his best friend make stupid jokes at Yugyeom’s crush, who happened to either find them hilarious or just plain annoying.

It was a sight to behold – a sight that made him strangely… happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
> This chapter took a while for me to write, I'm sorry for that.  
> The next chapter will probably not be out for quiet a while. I'm not feeling good right now, I'm trying to give myself some breaks before I fall too deep into my depression.  
> I wanted to get this chapter out before I broke down for good, I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> Special thanks as always go out to Liann and Ellia who always seem so excited for this mess. Thank you guys so much ♥


	5. Hyung will take care of everything

“And I can’t believe that he would actually think this was okay—“

Jinyoung was only half-listening to what BamBam was blabbering about, because at some point of their conversation, Yugyeom had sighed heavily and put his head on the elder’s shoulder, making him completely aware of his surroundings. Suddenly his position seemed very uncomfortable, his hands fidgeted in his lap and he noticed that Yugyeom’s hair smelled of strawberries.

Suddenly Jinyoung’s phone started ringing and he reached into his pocket to pull it out. The youngest lifted his head off the other’s shoulder and frowned at the caller ID. Sighing, the oldest picked up. “Yes?”

Jaebeom’s voice on the other end was pretty loud. “Jinyoung, where the fuck are you? Have you looked at the time? Do you not have work tomorrow? I swear to god if you’re staying at the office the entire night again, I will kill you myself!”

“Hyung, calm down.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes as he sat up, glancing at Youngjae who smirked slightly. Even he, who sat the farthest away from him could hear Jaebeom’s freak out. “I’m actually at Yugyeom’s. I brought him home since it rained so much and then I ended up listening to BamBam’s life story.”

Next to him, Bam huffed annoyed, although it seemed to be very jokingly, instead of actually offended. “Oh. That’s nice of you, Jinyoungie. What happened to you, are you sick?” Jinyoung was about to say something, when Jaebeom gasped slightly and asked, very quietly: “Is Youngjae also there?”

Jinyoung smiled at the uncertainty in his best friend’s voice and looked at Youngjae. “Yeah, he’s sitting in front of me. Do you want to talk to him?”

“What?! Uh, no, no, Jinyoung, don’t you dare!”

But with an evil smirk on his face, he reached over and gave his phone to Youngjae, who looked at him with big eyes, but took the phone anyway. He was blushing as he got up and practically ran into another room, which Jinyoung assumed was his bedroom, the phone pressed to the right side of his face.

Jinyoung snickered as Yugyeom rolled his eyes at him. “Yah, you did that on purpose.”

The older smiled as he put his arm around the youngest, pulling him a little closer. “I have better things to do than listening to Jaebeom giving me a lecture on how to be nicer or to be punctual or to tell him every single thing that happens in my life.”

Yugyeom snorted as he put his head on the elder’s shoulder again, eyes glued to the TV once more.

On Jinyoung’s other side, BamBam got up. “If you two want to cuddle, you could’ve just told me that. Have fun, lovebirds.”

As he retreated back to his room, Yugyeom picked up a pillow and threw it at his best friend’s head. “Shut up and go jerk off to thoughts of Jackson.”

Bam flipped him the bird before closing the door.

Jinyoung snickered to himself as he pet the younger’s arm affectionately. Yugyeom sighed quietly as he wrapped his arms around the other’s mid. “Can we stay like this for a while, hyung?”

“Yeah, sure,” the older said, without even thinking about it. He liked this position, they used to lounge around like this all the time when they were kids. This felt strangely… nostalgic.

After a few minutes of silent cuddling, Jinyoung rested his head on the younger’s, still stroking his right arm slowly. “Gyeom-ah…”

Yugyeom hummed questioningly, but didn’t move.

Jinyoung took a deep breath. “You know I’m gay, so, uhm, are you—“ He couldn’t finish because suddenly Yugyeom’s phone, which was lying on the table, started ringing. Both men sat up, looking at the caller I.D.

The same second, Youngjae came out of his room, Jinyoung’s phone in his hands. Upon hearing the ringing, his eyes went wide and he practically came running into the room, looking at the caller I.D as well. “Don’t pick up!” He told Yugyeom.

“I wasn’t going to,” Yugyeom answered, rolling his eyes. “I’m still not stupid.”

Jinyoung stared at the phone until it stopped ringing. “Who’s Jinsook?”

Youngjae sighed as he gave Jinyoung’s phone back to its owner. “Yugyeom’s psychotic ex-girlfriend.”

 _Ex-girlfriend_ , the oldest thought, refraining himself from heaving a heavy sigh. _Wait—psychotic?_ “What do you mean, psychotic?”

“Well, she—“

“Hyung, don’t,” Yugyeom said, glaring at his roommate. “Don’t mind that.”

Jinyoung turned to him, not believing one word he said. “I _will_ mind that, Yugyeomie. Explain yourself. What does psychotic mean? What did she do?”

Yugyeom whined, hiding his face in his hands. “Hyung, let it go. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” Youngjae said, hitting the maknae’s thigh harshly. “You’re being stalked by your possessive ex-girlfriend!”

Alarmed, Jinyoung jumped out of his seat. “Stalked? She _stalks_ you? What the fuck, Yugyeom?!”

“I’m fine!” Now Yugyeom was out of his seat as well. “She’s just a bit… clingy! She’ll let me go once she knows that I won’t come back to her.”

“When did the two of you break up?”

The younger hesitated, making Youngjae groan and answer for him. “Three months ago.”

“Three—“ He felt like someone punched the air out of his lungs. “ _Three months ago?!_ And you’re saying she isn’t stalking you?!”

“Hyung—“

“No, shut up,” Jinyoung snapped before he heaved a heavy sigh. “We’re gonna file a law suit, Yugyeom.”

“What?! No!”

“ _Don’t fucking argue with me, Kim Yugyeom_ ,” the oldest hissed, grabbing his childhood acquaintance by the collar and pulling him closer, so that they could lock eyes properly. “If someone is hurting you in any way, I will make sure they will be locked away.”

He noticed a small blush on Yugyeom’s face as he averted the eye-contact. “Hyung… I’m okay, I promise.”

Jinyoung sighed as he combed his hand through the younger’s hair gently. “I will take care of this. I just need to know what she looks like and then I’m gonna start collecting evidence. Hyung will take care of everything.”

Yugyeom was quiet for a few seconds, then he leaned forward, slotting their foreheads together. “Okay,” he whispered and the older couldn’t help but smile.

Suddenly there was a quiet cough and both males turned to look at Youngjae, who was staring at them. “Just… say it if you want me to leave.”

The youngest in the room began to stumble over his words, as Jinyoung stepped back, chuckling slightly. “Nah, it’s fine. I should leave, it’s late.”

Yugyeom was biting his lips while nodding at the older. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“Ah, hyung,” Youngjae spoke up as the three of them went to the front door. “Since tomorrow is Friday, Jackson will throw a party. You’re coming?”

Honestly speaking, Jinyoung hated those parties, he really did. But he ended up going anyways, every time. “Yeah, probably,” he said, as he glanced at Yugyeom. “What about you, Yugyeom-ah?”

The tall male scratched the back of his head, sighing slightly. “I’m not sure… I’ll think about it.”

Well, that was something, at least. Jinyoung smiled at the younger as he reached forward, ruffling his hair. “Okay. I’ll pick you up tomorrow, yes? 8:40 am?”

Yugyeom smiled back, nodding. “Sounds good. Thank you, hyung.”

Jinyoung put on his shoes in swift motion, asked the two younger men to say goodbye from him to BamBam before he waved to the both of them, exiting the apartment.

 

“Youngjae said the two of you look pretty close,” Jaebeom commented, sitting at his desk, scribbling down on a music sheet.

Jinyoung didn’t even bother to take off his shoes, he just walked into the living room, letting himself fall onto the couch, flat on his face. “Not even a ‘hello’, huh?”

A loud sigh came from the older as he turned towards his roommate. “I just don’t understand,” he mumbled, totally ignoring the younger’s words. “I thought you didn’t like him? Why are you cuddling with him? You hate physical contact.”

“Can you shut up, hyung,” Jinyoung whined, tossing around on the couch. “This is already confusing as it is. I don’t need your lectures.”

“You like him?”

“Hyung,” he tried to put a warning tone into the word.

But the older obviously didn’t care. “Is that it? Are you confused about your feelings for him? Yugyeom is a good kid, you’d be good for each other.”

There it was. Even Jaebeom said it. _Kid_. Wasn’t this what the younger was? A child, basically? To Jinyoung, the younger had always been just a kid. Did that change? Did he actually view the other as a man now? What about the kid that cried whenever it felt unfairly treated?

“Don’t you think that, too, Jinyoungie?” Jaebeom ended his rant, looking intently at the younger, noticing he was somewhere else in his mind. “Jinyoung?”

His head snapped into the direction of the older and stared at him questioningly. “I’m sorry, what?”

But the teacher just snorted, throwing his pen at the other, hitting him on the forehead. “Go to sleep, you seem out of it. Don’t worry about the future or the past or whatever is going on in that pretty head of yours. Live in the now, Park Jinyoung, it’s not that hard.”

Jinyoung huffed at his friend, picking up the pen from the floor it fell unto and threw it back at Jaebeom who caught it with ease. “You should head to bed, too, hyung. Tomorrow is Friday, your favorite day of the week,” he said, sarcastically. Fridays were the hardest of days for teachers, that much he knew.

“Good night, Jinyoungie,” he just answered, turning back towards his desk as Jinyoung moved to his bedroom.

“Good night, hyung.”

* * *

 

Yugyeom stood in front of his house, glancing at the time every few seconds. It was 8:37am, Jinyoung would be here in around 3 minutes and the younger was anxious, _to say the least_.

He would be stupid not to realize that the previous day had been kinda… weird. Youngjae was right when he said they acted – what was the word he had used? – Oh, right, _coupley_.

Which they weren’t! Obviously! No couple! No such feelings! On either side!

Yugyeom heaved a heavy sigh. “When will you finally realize that you’re lying to yourself, Kim Yugyeom?”

Just then he saw Jinyoung’s car come to a stop in front of him and the younger smiled as he opened the passenger door and got into the car. “Good morning, hyung,” he greeted, a happy smile on his face.

“Good morning, Yugyeom,” he hummed as he started driving again. “How did you sleep?”

The younger looked out of the window, watching the buildings move past them, shrugging slightly. “I slept just fine. What about hyung?”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Yugyeom could see Jinyoung nod approvingly. “I did, too.”

The rest of the drive was spent in silence. It wasn’t necessarily an uncomfortable one, but it wasn’t completely pleasant either. Something was in the air between them now and honestly, Yugyeom didn’t like that.

He didn’t like it at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, but that's how I wanted to end it. I could've added to it if I wanted but I wanted to leave it off like this. Yes.  
> And a very very veryyy special shout out to Ellia who listened to me when I had no one else who would.  
> I don't think you know how much it actually means to me and since I am bad with words I'll just -- thank you like this.


	6. I'm okay

Yugyeom was just shutting his computer off when he felt a weight on his back. He turned slightly to see Jinyoung hanging onto him. “Uh—s-sir?”

“Drop it, everyone is already gone,” Jinyoung answered, stepping away from the younger, looking around the room.

Yugyeom did the same. He didn’t even realize that it was only the two of them. “Oh,” he turned towards the older, noticing that he was ready to leave as well. “You’re going home early today?”

Jinyoung shrugged, looking out of the window. “It’s Friday and I have plans.” He glanced at his employee. “What about you, Yugyeom-sshi? Any plans?”

The younger snorted as he got off the chair, stretching his long limbs. “Lying in bed and watching cartoons?”

“Wrong answer,” the shorter of the two mused, smiling sheepishly. “You’re partying tonight.”

“Hyung, I don’t want to… I don’t like Jackson-hyung’s parties, you know that.”

Jinyoung pouted suddenly, catching Yugyeom off-guard. _Fuck, why can he also pull off cute?!_ “Ah, Yugyeomie, don’t leave me all by myself with the idiots that are our friends.”

A long sigh escaped the taller male, as he grabbed his bag. “I don’t even know how to get there and how to get back home…”

“First of all, you have two flat mates who are also going to that party, second of all, I’ll be driving,” the older answered, as he led the way to the elevators.

“You’re driving?” Yugyeom was a bit surprised by this. Wasn’t he the one who got drunk alone, depressingly, according to BamBam? “No drinks for you?”

Jinyoung shrugged while pressing the button to the ground floor. “Not this time, no. That hangover from last time still sits with me,” he said, groaning a little towards the end.

Yugyeom just hummed as an answer. He didn’t want to go – he _really_ didn’t want to go. Big crowds always gave him that uncomfortable feeling… Maybe because he feared of seeing that person there, always looking for him… Just the thought scared him.

Both males kept quiet until they reached Jinyoung’s car. The older didn’t even have to ask if the younger wanted a ride – Yugyeom just followed him.

“Gyeom,” Jinyoung said once they were both sitting inside the vehicle. The younger turned to his friend, tilting his head in question. “You should come to the party. Get your mind off things. If you want me to, I will stay by your side and watch over you… If you want…”

He averted his gaze, but Yugyeom saw the little blush on his face anyways. A small smile graced his lips. _Smooth, hyung_ , he thought as he nodded slowly. “Okay, I’ll come. Under one condition.”

Surprised, the older turned to look at the other. “Yes?”

“If I want to go home,” he said, suddenly being serious. “We go home, okay?”

Without hesitation, Jinyoung answered: “Of course.”

Yugyeom couldn’t help the little smile that came to his face upon the fast answer. He found himself nodding. “Okay. Then I’ll come.”

“Thank you,” Jinyoung said and he somehow seemed really grateful for his answer, which made Yugyeom feel a little funny in the stomach area. “I promise it won’t be that bad. Just stay away from all the drunk people and you’ll be fine.”

“So, stay away from all our friends?”

“Basically.”

Both of them started laughing as Jinyoung backed out of the parking spot before driving towards Yugyeom’s apartment. Again, the ride was quiet, but this time, Yugyeom didn’t feel uneasy at all, not even in the slightest.

Once they came to a stop in front of the apartment shared by the three youngest of their group, Yugyeom unbuckled his seatbelt before turning towards the older. “Ah, hyung, when will you pick us up?”

Jinyoung pursed his lips. “I’m not sure yet. I’m sure Jaebeom and Youngjae already made plans though, so just ask your roommates about it.” Then he smiled. “Thank you again, Yugyeom. See you later.”

“Later, hyung,” he answered, a smile on his lips once again as he left the car and watched Jinyoung drive off. Only then did he enter the building to climb up into the 3rd floor and enter his apartment.

Youngjae was lying on the couch while he heard loud music coming from BamBam’s room. The oldest of the three turned when he heard the front door fall shut and smiled at the youngest. “Hey, Yugyeom-ah. How was work?”

Sighing, Yugyeom came in and let himself fall on top of Youngjae, who grunted when he felt the extra weight. “Jinyoung-hyung persuaded me into joining you tonight.”

“What? Really?” Youngjae’s eyes were suddenly twice the size as they usually were and Yugyeom scoffed.

“Why? Is it so unbelievable that I’m going to one of Jackson’s parties?”

“Yes,” Youngjae exclaimed, reaching up a hand to feel the younger’s forehead. “Huh, no fever. How did Jinyoung-hyung talk you into that? I’ve been trying for months to get you to come with us, but to no avail.” Before Yugyeom could even say anything, he was interrupted by the oldest again. “Oh, now that I think about it, he probably just smiled at you kindly and batted his eyelashes. Wouldn’t surprise me, knowing how whipped you are for him.”

Yugyeom punched the other lightly in the arm, scoffing once more before getting off of Youngjae. “Screw you, hyung. I’m not whipped. He just—he presented some good points! Also he promised me to bring me home whenever I feel like leaving, so…”

BamBam’s bedroom door opened and the Thai came out, fully styled, make-up on point and smelling of perfume.

Youngjae raised an eyebrow at the newcomer. “Bam? Jinyoung-hyung is only coming in an hour, why are you already… ready?”

“Ah, about that,” BamBam said, leaning against the wall. “Jackson will pick me up to get everything ready before the guests arrive.”

Yugyeom couldn’t help the comment that came out of his mouth: “Please do that, don’t get side-tracked and make-out suddenly. I _really_ don’t wanna barge into you two eating each other’s faces.”

Bam sighed loudly. “Ugh, I wish!” Then he stopped, eyes going wide. “Wait—does that mean you’re coming?”

Youngjae was the one to answer. “Yeah, Jinyoung-hyung convinced him.”

The Thai smirked. “Whipped.”

“I’m not fucking whipped!!”

* * *

 Jaebeom stared at his phone for a few seconds, then he put it back into his pocket. “They’re coming down now.”

Jinyoung nodded as he kept his eyes trained on the front door, waiting for the three friends.

But out of the door came not three people but only two – Youngjae and Yugyeom. Raising an eyebrow, he unlocked the doors when the two reached the car. As they both jumped in, Jaebeom turned around to greet them. Then he asked: “Where’s BamBam?”

“Oh, Jackson-hyung picked him up so that he could help with god knows what,” Youngjae answered, rolling his eyes at no one in particular.

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow as he started the car. “Is there anything between the two of them?”

Jaebeom shrugged as he turned to the front again. “No one knows, really. BamBam is pretty open about his crush on him but I’m not sure how Jack feels about him.”

“The tension between them is definitely real, though,” Yugyeom spoke up. Jinyoung looked into the rearview mirror to observe the younger. “You should see how they act when it’s just them. Or when they _think_ it’s just them.”

Next to him, Youngjae cringed. “No, don’t talk about it, I don’t want to hear that.”

“Hear what?” Jinyoung asked, definitely curious. “What did they do?”

Yugyeom heaved a long sigh as he stared out the window. “There is a reason why I never stay until the end of the parties. Or go at all, lately. It was one time when almost everyone was gone, it was basically just the closest of friends and everyone was drunk. I wanted to leave so I went looking for Bam, since, you know, I expected him to come with me. But… uhm…” His face flushed a little and Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile at that. “I found them in Jackson’s bedroom… Jacks was hovering over BamBam and… They were obviously drunk, but… The fucking sexual tension in this room was too much, so I just stood there, staring. They noticed me when Jackson started to lean down, as if to kiss Bam and I released a—“

“A very loud, high-pitched squeal that everyone in the house heard and had us all running to him,” Jaebeom continued the story, shaking his head.

Yugyeom nodded. “Well, yeah. They jumped away from each other so suddenly, _I_ almost got whiplash.”

Youngjae gagged quietly. “I love BamBam and I love Jackson-hyung, but—but imagining this is… It shouldn’t be, they’re both like brothers to me, this feels like incest.”

“So you would never date anyone in our group?” Yugyeom leaned over to his friend, a smirk on his face.

Jaebeom chocked on his spit, coughing violently as Jinyoung broke into loud laughter.

“Shut your fucking trap, Yugyeom,” Youngjae mumbled under his breath, but Jinyoung could still hear it. Yugyeom chuckled as he turned to look out of his window again. “Hyung, are you okay?” Youngjae asked, leaning forward, trying to get a better look at Jaebeom.

Jaebeom still coughed slightly, then he nodded. “Yup, just fine, thank you, Youngjae-ya.”

Jinyoung looked into the rearview mirror, trying to catch a glance of Yugyeom, only to see the younger already looking at him, smirking slightly. Obviously the older had to smile back. Could he ever do anything else when it came to Yugyeom?

 

The second the boys walked through the front door of the large house, a loud screech caught their attention. Jackson came running towards them, basically throwing himself into Jinyoung’s arms. “You guys came!”

“Of course we came,” Jinyoung answered, huffing while holding the other so he wouldn’t fall.

Jackson looked at each of them but at the last person he froze. “Oh—“

And all of them were able to shield their ears before it happened – except for Jinyoung, who was still carrying Jackson and Yugyeom, who couldn’t possibly guess what was going to happen now.

“MY GOD,” Jackson screeched, as he pushed himself off Jinyoung and jumped right into Yugyeom, who caught the older in the last possible second. “YOU CAME, AH, YUGYEOMIE, YOU CAME!”

From somewhere BamBam appeared, rolling his eyes. “Hyung, you’re gonna make him deaf now that he’s here?”

Jackson released a quiet _oh_ as he pulled away from the youngest. “I’m sorry, but I’m so excited! You didn’t tell me, Bam!”

“It was a surprise,” the Thai defended himself, grinning. “You happy now?”

“Very,” Jackson answered, now leaping into BamBam’s arms, who almost dropped his drink. “Take me to the bar!”

Bam sighed but did as he was told anyways.

“They’re so weird…” Jinyoung said as he turned to Yugyeom. “You okay?”

But the younger was in a daze, staring into the direction, the two other’s disappeared in. “This is… why I don’t come to these parties…”

The others erupted into laughter as everyone went their way. Jaebeom and Youngjae took off together to god knows where and Jinyoung led the youngest to his favorite spot – the bar.

“Hyung, you’re not even allowed to drink,” Yugyeom said, eyeing everything suspiciously.

Jinyoung snorted as he sat down on a chair, patting the one next to him for Yugyeom to sit down. He did. “I’m not gonna drink.” He sighed as he listened to the music a bit closer. “Ah, isn’t this… that idol, uh—“

Yugyeom frowned before his eyes lit up. “Ah, that’s Seungri with _1, 2, 3_! I like this song a lot,” he said as he ordered a drink.

That reminded the older of something. “Oh, talking about music…” He himself ordered a coke from the _waiter_ who knew him by name. “Do you still dance?”

Surprise came over the younger’s face. “Woah, you remember that?”

“Of course I do! I’m a good hyung!”

“Sure you are,” Yugyeom answered, snorting. “Uh, every now and then, when I have free time. In college I was a bit too busy to go to classes or even take some time out of the day. I needed all time I could find to study, you know?”

Jinyoung couldn’t help a little smile on his lips. “Still our hard-working little puppy, huh?”

Frowning, Yugyeom shoved the other away. “I’m not little anymore, hyung. I’m taller than you, so—“

As their drinks arrived, Jinyoung sighed loudly. “Yes, yes, I am aware. How did that even happen?”

“Genetics,” the youngest answered, sipping his drink.

“Right… Your dad is a giant, too.”

Yugyeom smiled at the older and then let his eyes wander. Suddenly they lit up and a huge grin replaced the timid smile. “Mark-hyung!”

Out of nowhere, Mark came into Jinyoung’s field of vision, obviously already slightly drunk. “Yugyeomie! I already heard that you’re here!”

“Jackson running around telling everyone?” Jinyoung asked, a smirk on his face.

“Exactly.” Mark then turned to him, a grin on his face. “Hey, Jinyoungie.”

They hugged quickly before the attention was on the youngest again. “So, Yugyeom, how do you like the party?”

Yugyeom pursed his lips as he looked around once more. “It’s okay, I guess. Jackson didn’t go as hard as I thought he would.”

“Apparently BamBam told him not to,” Mark answered, laughing slightly. “Honestly, Jack would do anything for that boy, wouldn’t he?”

Snorting, Jinyoung nodded. “They’re gone for each other, but both too blind to see it.”

Mark just shrugged. “You’re talking to the wrong guy if you want to discuss romance.”

“Right,” Yugyeom said. “You’re a-romantic, right?”

The oldest winked before someone shouted his name. “Oops, someone needs me, but we’ll talk some more later, okay?” He waited for both of them to nod, then he took off.

Yugyeom chuckled as he watched Mark’s retreating figure. “He’s talkative when he’s drunk.”

“He is,” Jinyoung agreed, downing his coke. “Anyways, about the dance thing…”

The younger raised an eyebrow at him. “Why are you so caught up on that?”

Raising his hands in a defensive manner, Jinyoung frowned. “I just like your dancing, is that a crime?”

“Yes,” Yugyeom answered, sticking out his own tongue before emptying his own glass.

“Yah! Drink slowly, you idiot!” Jinyoung couldn’t help but scold the other. “That’s alcohol, you punk.”

“You think it’s my first time drinking?”

“No, but—“

But the older wasn’t able to end his sentence because suddenly Youngjae stood next to the two, breathing heavily and looking alarmed. “Gyeom, you—“

Yugyeom immediately got up, putting a hand on the older’s back. “Breathe, hyung. What’s wrong?”

But Youngjae apparently didn’t think that breathing was important now. “You need to leave, _now_.”

Jinyoung also got up abruptly. “What? What do you mean, Youngjae?”

Yugyeom seemed to be just as confused as he glanced at Jinyoung. “Did you forget something at home?”

“No, Yugyeom, you need to get away from here now. Go home!”

Now that – that scared Jinyoung a little. The tone of his voice, the urgency in his words… Why was he so worried, what was the reason for this… this _fear_?

When it didn’t seem like Yugyeom would move at all, Youngjae groaned loudly. “Yugyeom, _she_ is here. _She_ knows _you’re_ here!”

And then, as if he was just punched in the gut, Yugyeom turned white as snow as his legs gave in. Jinyoung raced forward, catching the younger before he could hit the ground. You didn’t need to be a doctor to know where Yugyeom’s blood pressure lay now.

“Hyung, please take him home, _please_ ,” Youngjae said, looking around frantically.

Without even thinking about it, Jinyoung had already picked up the younger and moved toward the door, as fast as he could.

* * *

He didn’t even remember how they got to his apartment, but here they were now. Yugyeom was lying in his bed, tucked into the sheets, a cold cloth on his forehead while Jinyoung sat next to him, patting the younger’s legs.

“Are you okay?”

Honestly, Yugyeom felt anything but okay. But he couldn’t keep the older, he needed to go back to the party, he was the driver and he probably wanted to party still, right? “I’ll be fine, hyung. You can leave if you want to.”

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow as he sighed. “I’m not leaving, Yugyeom, don’t be ridiculous. You need to calm down, just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

“You should j—“

“And if you tell me to leave, I will beat you up.”

Yugyeom couldn’t stop the chuckle that came out of his mouth, as he took a deep breath. He knew what he wanted, but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to ask for that. “Hyung…”

“Hm?” Jinyoung asked, now playing with the younger’s fingers.

“Do you remember how we used to sleep in the same bed together? When we were children?” Yugyeom saw the older nodding as a small smile graced his lips. The taller male had to smile as well. “And do you remember _how_ we used to sleep?”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes at this. “Yeah. You always had nightmares so one night I just swooped you into my arms and – bam. No nightmares. Never again.”

Yugyeom nodded. “I want that.”

Obviously surprised, Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “You—Yugyeom, you’re way too huge, I can’t hold you like that anymore!”

“You said you’d do what I tell you to do…”

Groaning, Jinyoung let go of the other’s hand as he crawled over to lie next to Yugyeom. He then pulled him closer to let the younger’s head rest on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around the taller male.

Yugyeom released a satisfied sigh. This—this was his safety. Right here was where he had always felt the safest.

“You okay now?”

And this time, without even having to lie, Yugyeom answered: “Yes. I’m okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, I didn't mean to make it end so fluffy, but here we are anyways.
> 
> We're getting closer to the angst section. As I said, it won't be a lot of angst, but... it'll be pretty heavy. I'll give trigger warnings when needed!


	7. Because it’s Jinyoung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy belated birthday to Youngjae and Jinyoung and happy comeback everyone ♥

A small sigh escaped Jinyoung’s lips. He tried to be as quiet as possible to not disturb the sleeping boy in his arms.

Yugyeom fell asleep within ten minutes, leaving Jinyoung awake to battle his own thoughts. Heavy thoughts.

Under different circumstances, Jinyoung would surely be flustered – having Yugyeom in his arms, listening to his calm breathing – but he couldn’t stop thinking about how scared the younger was just an hour ago. How terrified he had seemed. Why? Why was he so scared of a single person, of his ex-girlfriend? What could she have possibly done to him to make him such a… a wreck?

The older glanced down to look at the boy in his arms. They were able to escape the party without being noticed by Jinsook – at least Jinyoung hoped that was the case.

But before he could go back to thinking, his phone started buzzing in his pocket. Cursing slightly, he pulled it out as fast as possible and picked up, whispering to not disturb Yugyeom. “Hello?”

“Jinyoung?” Jaebeom asked.

“Yeah,” Jinyoung whispered back, making sure Yugyeom was not waking up because of him.

“Why are you whispering?”

“Yugyeom is asleep.”

Suddenly, Youngjae’s voice came through the speaker. “Wait, you’re still with him?”

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Why?”

“Just making sure…”

Then Jinyoung heard Jaebeom’s voice again. “Listen, we want to make our way home now—“

“Uh… Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No, let him stay with Gyeom,” Youngjae said from further away.

Jaebeom sighed before he answered. “It’s okay, a friend of Mark’s said he’d drive us home. So, should I, like… come up to their apartment so we can drive home together, or… are you spending the night there?”

 _Now_ Jinyoung started to get flustered. “Well… I can’t really move since… uhm, he’d wake up and I don’t… want that—“

“Woah!” Youngjae apparently grabbed the phone from the older. “So you’re in bed with him right now?”

“Uh—yeah?”

“That’s… surprising… But good! Good surprising!”

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at that. “Uh… yeah… Youngjae-ya, you can tell Jaebeom that he can sleep over, too, right? Either that or he could ask Mark’s friend to drive him home.”

“I can hear you, you’re on speaker phone,” Jabeom’s voice came out of the phone and Jinyoung cringed slightly.

“Sorry, hyung…”

“But, yeah, if Youngjae has nothing against it, I’ll sleep over.”

“Oh! Not at all! You can sleep in BamBam’s room then, hyung!”

 _Oof, I doubt that’s what he wants_ , Jinyoung thought and bit his lip. “So, if you come here, please be quiet, okay?”

“Sure, hyung! Keep on cuddling!” Youngjae shouted before the call ended.

Jinyoung cursed under his breath and put his phone on the nightstand quietly. Then he made sure that Yugyeom was still asleep – which he was, luckily. So he bent down slightly and pressed a small kiss to the younger’s head—something he did when they were kids. But only once the younger was asleep, obviously.

He lay awake for another 15 minutes or so, when he heard the front door open and two hushed voices talking to each other – obviously Jaebeom and Youngjae.

Jinyoung sighed slightly, finally closing his eyes, now that he knew that those two came home safely as well, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and his eyes flew open again. He saw two figures standing in the door, looking at him curiously.

“I swear to god, you two are the worst,” Jinyoung hissed at them before releasing an annoyed sigh, glancing down at Yugyeom to make sure that his slumber was not disturbed.

“How cute the two of you are,” Jaebeom answered, ignoring the words his best friend has spoken mere seconds before.

Jinyoung just rolled his eyes. Then Youngjae spoke up: “Hyung, for how long has he been sleeping?”

“He fell asleep, like, 20 minutes after we came here. Why?”

“So he’s been sleeping for over two hours? Without waking up once? No nightmares?” Youngjae spoke in hushed tones, keeping his voice as quiet as possible—so quiet, that Jinyoung had to strain his ears to hear the younger.

He just answered with a simple “Uh-huh” which seemed to calm Youngjae down completely, which worried Jinyoung even more. So the younger never slept through an entire night? He never slept through two hours? He had nightmares that were so intense that he wasn’t able to get a full night’s sleep?

Soon Jaebeom and Youngjae wished Jinyoung a good night and disappeared into their respectful rooms (well, Jinyoung assumed they did) and left the copywriter alone with his thoughts. He didn’t know when he eventually fell asleep, but he knew beforehand that it wouldn’t be a very peaceful sleep, not after everything that happened this day.

* * *

 

_Warmth._

That’s the first thing Yugyeom felt when he woke up.

_Peace._

That’s the second thing.

_Safety._

His eyes snapped open and he came face to face with a sleeping Park Jinyoung.

 _That’s why_ , he thought, as he studied the older male. _That’s why I feel safe. Because it’s Jinyoung_.

Yugyeom reached out a hand slowly to brush away some stray hairs from the other’s forehead as a smile formed on his lips. He never thought that he would wake up next to Jinyoung again. Especially not like this, in his embrace, feeling safe and sound, like nothing could hurt him.

But that wouldn’t last long. The good feelings never lasted long.

Because suddenly the memories of the night before rushed in and Yugyeom felt his head spin violently.

_She was there. She knew I was there. She was probably looking for me. What if she saw me? What if she starts coming to the building again? What if she saw Jinyoung? What if she is going to do to him what she did to me? What if she—_

Yugyeom immediately rolled out of bed, lying down on the cold floor, trying to calm himself down. It didn’t work, of course it didn’t work, he was panicking, he knew he was. This was it, another break-down, not right now. Not right here. Not while _he_ is here, not while _he_ was supposed to make him feel safe—

A soothing hand touched his right cheek and Yugyeom opened his eyes (he didn’t even realize that he had closed them) to see Jinyoung leaning over him, a worried expression on those beautiful features.

 _My fault_ , Yugyeom thought, as he sat up slowly. _It’s my fault that he isn’t happy_.

“Yugyeom,” Jinyoung said and Yugyeom realized that the older must’ve called him a few times already, he just didn’t hear. But now he did hear. The panic was gone. “Gyeom-ah…”

The younger nodded. “Yes, I hear you, hyung,” he answered, voice raspy and scratchy. “I hear you.”

Jinyoung sighed as he studied the other. “Are you breathing fine? Do you want me to get Youngjae? Or even a doctor? I can—“

“Hyung,” Yugyeom said, reaching forward he grabbed a fistful of the elder’s shirt. “It’s okay. I’m calm now. I’m sorry, I must’ve surprised you.”

Sighing once again, Jinyoung nodded. “Yes, that you did.”

“I’m sorr—“

“Oh, shut up. I don’t want an apology. You don’t owe me one. I want to hear you say that you’re okay, at least somewhat. At least enough that you can stand up and walk—preferably to the kitchen, where we can get some food into you, since you haven’t eaten in at least 14 hours.”

Yugyeom could’ve told him that he hasn’t eaten in over 20 hours, but he already worried the other enough—not eating wasn’t a big deal for Yugyeom, it was just something that was part of his life now, more or less.

“I am fine enough to get up, to walk and to eat,” he answered, looking at Jinyoung, who smiled slightly, making butterflies erupt in the younger’s stomach.

“Good.”

 

Breakfast was quiet for around ten minutes, then Youngjae came out of his room, asking Yugyeom how he’s doing and then proceeding to eye the younger worriedly.

Honestly, by now Yugyeom was definitely _tired_ of everyone making a fuss about him or his mental health, treating him like he was some kind of nut-case who needed supervision wherever he went. “Hyung, why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he finally said with a glare directed at Youngjae, who immediately averted his eyes.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, continuing to eat his food in silence.

Yugyeom felt Jinyoung looking at him when he lashed out at Youngjae. With a slight sigh, the youngest turned to the oldest male in the room. They made eye-contact and Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at the other. A sigh escaped the younger as he shook his head, silently pleading him not to ask any questions.

Jinyoung pursed his lips, somewhat annoyed, but nodded anyways.

Not long after, another figure joined them—Yugyeom was expecting BamBam, obviously, he was the other person who lived in this apartment—but when he turned around he came face to face with a sleepy looking Jaebeom.

“Oh—hyung! I didn’t know you were here.”

Jaebeom just nodded as he fell down next to Youngjae, yawning. “Yeah, it was easier than asking for another favor of Mark’s friend.”

“Mark’s friend?” Yugyeom asked, confused.

Jaebeom and Youngjae then started to explain how they even got here last night and Yugyeom hummed understandingly. So Jinyoung really stayed with him the whole night and the others had to find another way to get home—thinking about it, Yugyeom didn’t wake up once the entire night… This happened last when he was… twelve years old. Before he moved to Seoul with his family.

“How are you, Yugyeom?” Jaebeom asked, after he bit into his toast once. “Did you sleep well?”

Yugyeom heaved another sigh, then he forced a smile. “I am fine, hyung. Thank you.”

But Jaebeom just nodded, obviously not convinced, but letting it go regardless.

“Yugyeom-ah,” Jinyoung spoke up and Yugyeom’s eyes landed on him immediately. “Can I have some of your clothes before hyung and I leave? If I stay in those jeans any longer, someone will have to cut me out of them.

“Ah—sure, uh, follow me, hyung,” Yugyeom answered, jumping out of his seat and going into his room. Jinyoung followed him, closing the door behind him and—locking it? Yugyeom turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “Uh… hyung? What are you doing?”

“It’s so we don’t get disturbed.”

“Disturbed… doing what?”

And then Jinyoung moved closer to Yugyeom, pushing him onto the bed, standing before him, eyeing the younger with a serious look. “Now,” he said before he sat down next to Yugyeom. “Now we talk.”


	8. Do you trust me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And... here we go.  
> I don't know if you have seen the change I made to the archive warning and the tags but, uh.  
> Yes. This will be my first trigger-warning to the story.
> 
>  
> 
> **TRIGGER-WARNING FOR RAPE/NON-CONSENSUAL SEX**
> 
> You've been warned. If the mention of rape makes you uncomfortable or triggers you, please be careful, as this chapter might be triggering.

“Talk… about what, hyung?” Yugyeom asked, now biting his lip as he glanced to his left, watching the older as he watched him.

Jinyoung didn’t waver for a second. “About what happened between you and Jinsook.”

Yugyeom heaved a heavy sigh as he pulled his legs up on the bed and wrapped his arms around them. “I don’t really like talking about that… It’s… not easy.”

The older of the two carefully reached around the other and lay his hand on the younger’s back, rubbing circles into the fabric of his shirt. “I get it. I thought that that might be the case. But Yugyeom-ah… I want to help you. But to help you, I need to know the story. I need to understand what happened. Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do,” Yugyeom said before whining slightly. “It’s not about trust. It’s…” He bit his lip once more, then he took a deep breath. “Talking about it makes me remember that it was real. That everything actually did happen.”

“Pushing the memories away won’t give you peace, Yugyeom. You know what would give you peace? Telling me about it so we can take legal action against her and give her the punishment she deserves. But I don’t know what she deserves because you won’t tell me.” Jinyoung kept on rubbing calming circles on the taller’s back. “Yugyeom-ah. Look at me.” And that, he did. And what he saw was a bit too much—his hyung, looking at him with the saddest look in his eyes—pain. _And that’s all because of me_. “I hate to see you like this. I hate to see you scared or in pain. I don’t want that anymore. So _please_. _Please_ tell me what happened so I can help you.”

Yugyeom glanced at the floor, biting his lip once again. He started to taste blood, but ignored it. “I have never told anyone about it. Youngjae kinda knows, he watched a lot of it happen, but… he doesn’t know any details.”

Jinyoung nodded. “I understand. If you can’t tell me everything, that’s okay. But I need to know at least some of the story.”

“Okay,” Yugyeom huffed, starring at the wall. “I’ll tell you what I can.”

 

 

When Yugyeom met Jinsook, it was his last year of college. Yugyeom had never really acknowledged the female’s presence until one day, it was a cold winter and BamBam had ditched him to go to the movies with some of his Thai friends.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” he said, as he pushed himself in between Lisa and Minnie, disturbing their conversation.

Now the younger was standing by himself at the bus stop, kicking pebbles away, a frown on his face. He jumped when a voice next to him said: “Uh, Kim Yugyeom, right?”

He looked at the girl—she was pretty. She looked like a fairy – small face, small figure, long, black hair, porcelain skin and big, round, dark eyes – kinda totally Yugyeom’s type. “Yes?”

Her eyes immediately light up and a smile crept unto her face. “I’m Kang Jinsook! We’re having biology together.”

“Oh,” Yugyeom answered intelligently, like the smart guy he was. “Yes, I think I recall seeing you every now and then.”

And that’s how they fell into a rhythm.

Each day after college, whether or not BamBam was with him, Yugyeom talked to Jinsook. She was intelligent, kind and funny. _Totally_ Yugyeom’s type. So much, that it was actually kind of scary.

Apparently Bam thought the same because one day, the second they stepped through the door, he turned towards his best friend, a frown on his face. “Isn’t it weird how she seems to know _exactly_ what kind of humor you have? Or seems to like the same movies you like?”

He had never thought about that before. Maybe he should’ve, maybe he should’ve thought more about Bam’s words, maybe he should’ve been a bit more careful, but in all honesty, he just wanted someone to be with. And Jinsook came at the perfect time… Maybe he really should’ve thought this through. “Maybe we’re just meant to be?” was the only thing he said though.

Obviously, BamBam wasn’t convinced, but he ended up just sighing. “If you’re sure. Just be careful.”

Looking back, Yugyeom should’ve listened. He should’ve been careful, should’ve noticed the signs… But you can’t turn back time…

They still met every day at the bus station. Soon, the two of them started to hang out outside of college as well, for example on weekends they would go to the movies or eat lunch together. And one day, Jinsook just asked him if he wanted to date her.

Of course he said yes – he had been wanting to date someone for a long time and Jinsook seemed so perfect to him… The first person he thought he might end up marrying. And in the beginning everything seemed so beautiful.

They were able to laugh about everything, talk about everything. They told each other some very personal stuff, about their parents, about their childhood. She basically knew everything about how he grew up more with Jinyoung’s family than his own.

But it soon started to get weird. Because suddenly he wasn’t allowed to hang out with friends anymore. Whenever he wanted to do something with BamBam, she would tell him it was inappropriate and that he shouldn’t spend time with anyone else other than her. Especially straight girls or queer guys.

Whenever he got home from a night out with Jinsook, he would have to send her a message, letting her know he got home okay, whether or not someone was home and if they gave him enough space.

Yugyeom knew this wasn’t right. He _knew_ something was wrong. But he still liked her, liked her too much to let her go.

Their first time—it was Yugyeom’s first sexual encounter with a woman, which might sound weird to some people, but Yugyeom’s first time had been with a guy—while it was nice, it was also kind of creepy to him. Jinsook always wanted to be in control – and while there’s nothing wrong with that, she wanted Yugyeom to not react at all to the love-making, which was… Very weird.

But it didn’t stop there. At some point Jinsook asked him to act like he was in pain during sex—like he didn’t want it, like she was _forcing_ him.

That should have been the last drop, Yugyeom knows that, he knew that back then, but… In a way, he was scared. Scared, because Jinsook tended to be scary. When they were walking around town and his eyes would leave hers for just two seconds, she would make a scene, asking him if he really loved her, if he wanted someone else, if he cheated on her. It was exhausting, but still, Yugyeom hoped it would blow over and eventually they’d be like they used to be in the beginning.

It only got worse from this point on.

The fight were more frequent, there was basically nothing but screaming and Jinsook always wanted to make up with angry sex. Very angry sex.

And then… Then _it_ happened. One night, Yugyeom was tired, he was angry, just plain exhausted and he told her _no_.   _I’m not having sex with you tonight_.

That was it. She got angry, but let it be. They went to sleep like that.

But in the middle of the night—he knew something was… not right. He couldn’t place it, his mind still hazy from having just woken up.

The first thing he noticed was the mattress moving below him. Then the weight on his lap, the hands on his throat. Only then did the sensation struck him…

_She is raping me._

He immediately pushed her away, panic rising in his chest. He didn’t want this—he didn’t want any of this. He said _no_! Why did she—

When he looked at her, he saw it. The want in her eyes, something vaguely crazy. She licked her lips as she climbed onto the bed again, pressing at Yugyeom’s chest, making him fall down on the mattress again. He wanted to scream, push her away, but when she pressed her hand on his mouth and opened her drawer to pull out a knife, everything in him froze.

 _This is how I die_ , that’s what he thought, he was sure of it.

In the end she kept on going, the knife dangerously close to Yugyeom’s throat. His orgasm was painful, no satisfaction whatsoever and when Jinsook lay down next to him, her head on his chest, she whispered: “See, you came, it couldn’t have been so bad, couldn’t it? You should’ve seen the look in your eyes, so scared, so beautiful. I love you.”

Yugyeom didn’t fall asleep that night. He waited for Jinsook to lose consciousness, so when she did, he carefully slipped away from her, put on his clothes and was out of her apartment in a matter of seconds.

When he got home, Youngjae and BamBam were worried, noticing his shocked condition, but Yugyeom didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t say anything, but his friends are smart, they probably had some idea of what might have happened.

After that night, Yugyeom send her a text, breaking up with her before blocking her number and hiding himself in his room. He tried to stay in whenever he could, he didn’t go to parties anymore, he didn’t go to watch movies, anything, really. In college, Bam would always stick with him. They even went to the restroom together, BamBam making sure that it was empty and no one was hiding in the stalls.

Yugyeom didn’t make eye-contact with Jinsook again, even when she was in the same room as him.

But other than that, life seemed to be going okay again. That was until one night Yugyeom came home, alone, since BamBam was in Thailand for holidays and Youngjae was at his parent’s place for the night.

The second Yugyeom walked into the apartment he knew something was wrong. There was just… something in the air. And when he opened the door to his room, he realized what that wrong thing was.

There she lay, Kang Jinsook, completely naked, on his bed, fingers of her right hand stimulating herself, while one of Yugyeom’s shirt was in her left hand, guided to her nose, obviously smelling it.

Without even thinking, Yugyeom turned and ran, out of the flat, out of the house, into the streets, breathing heavily. He then just ran down the street, away from what he just saw and searched for his phone in his pockets. He fished it out and called Youngjae.

The older immediately made his way over and when they both entered the apartment, it was empty.

After that, the three boys decided to change the passcode monthly, to make sure no one knew how to get into the apartment except for them and they advised Yugyeom to always lock the door manually, with the key, when he was home alone. On top of that they bought a new mattress for Yugyeom, since the picture would always appear so clear in his mind whenever he lay down.

The next few months, Jinsook would always come back to the apartment, sometimes trying out some numbers on the pad outside but it never once worked.

 

 

When Yugyeom was done talking, he felt a wetness on his cheeks and realized he had started crying somewhere in the middle of that story. He glanced at Jinyoung for a second and cursed under his breath—crying in front of him, he never wanted to do that again.

“Yugyeom,” he muttered, voice quiet and soft so Yugyeom glanced at him once more, now holding his gaze. “Come here,” he said, holding his arms open.

Without even a second thought Yugyeom threw himself into Jinyoung’s open arms. He let himself be held as he cried some more, Jinyoung’s quiet voice promising him that he was now safe, no longer in danger.

After a few minutes, once Yugyeom’s tears stopped, Jinyoung spoke up again. “I’m sorry, Yugyeom… I didn’t know, but… But why did you never call the police on this?”

“What could they have done?” Yugyeom asked, snorting. “They don’t care about rape when it happens to a woman. Why would they care when it happens to a man? Especially if he’s dating the woman? He should be happy that his girlfriend has this healthy of a sex-drive!”

Jinyoung was quiet for a few seconds then he sighed. “And for the break-in? She literally broke into you home!”

Yugyeom bit his lips as he started to play with the collar of Jinyoung’s shirt. “Maybe, Youngjae said the same. But I had literally no proof that she was in the apartment…”

With nothing else to say, the two of them just kept cuddling until there was a knock on the door and Jaebeom’s voice came through. “Jinyoung, come on, I still have plans today.”

“Yeah, hyung, coming,” he called as he untangled himself from the younger.

“Hyung, you wanted to change,” Yugyeom reminded him as he got up and went to his closet, searching for clothing that would fit Jinyoung.

“Ah, don’t, Gyeom-ah. I wasn’t actually planning on stealing your clothes.”

Yugyeom huffed as he pulled out a shirt and some pants. “No, I promised you! You must be uncomfortable.” He handed Jinyoung the clothes. “Here you go. I’ll go wash my face while you change, just let me know when you’re ready.”

With that, Yugyeom went into the bathroom to splash some water into his face, hoping the swelling around his eyes might lessen.

After a minute there was a knock on the door and Yugyeom stepped back into the room to see Jinyoung standing in his room, dressed in his clothes. For some reason this gave Yugyeom a warm feeling in his stomach area that he tried to ignore… Although that wasn’t easy.

Before Jinyoung and Jaebeom left, the younger of the two embraced Yugyeom while Jaebeom and Youngjae exchanged some words. Yugyeom heard Jinyoung whisper into his ear: “Thank you for telling me, Yugyeom-ah. I will make sure to make her pay for what she’s done. Leave it to me.”

And with that he left, making Yugyeom feel both anxious and warm at the same time.


	9. I never hated you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, here we have a very late and pretty short chapter.  
> I am so sorry. writer's block kicked me in the ass with a giant grin on its face.  
> the next chapter might take a while. I'm sorry in advance ;;
> 
> Not proof-read....... sorry for lots of mistakes probably!!

It shouldn’t be surprising that Jinyoung wasn’t able to sleep that night.

Just the thought of Yugyeom being in pain made him angry. He somehow managed to stay calm on the outside while the younger told his story, but once Jinyoung was all alone, the anger bubbled up inside of him, finally making it out.

He might or might not have punched a wall.

Rolling around in his bed—trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in—his mind always raced back to Yugyeom’s face, stained with tears. He was gonna make that girl pay.

Suddenly he remembered Youngjae’s astonishment upon hearing that Yugyeom had slept in the same bed as Jinyoung. Putting one and one together, it was pretty obvious to Jinyoung that Yugyeom wasn’t able to sleep in a bed with another person after what Jinsook had done to him.

But he slept just fine in Jinyoung’s arms—even better than fine, if what Youngjae said was true; he didn’t have any nightmares, the whole night.

Maybe that was because Yugyeom was used to him. Because they used to sleep in the same bed and cuddle when they were young, when life wasn’t scary. Or maybe…

 _He’s straight_ , Jinyoung reminded himself when his mind threatened to stray away too far. _He’s not in love with you, stop feeling so hopeful_.

Thrashing around, Jinyoung became more and more frustrated. He wanted to call Yugyeom – he really did. But the younger was probably asleep…

But then again… Jinyoung glanced to his left, staring at the phone on his nightstand. What if the younger had similar problems? What if he also couldn’t sleep? But… no, why wouldn’t he? Jinyoung couldn’t just call and interrupt the boy’s sleep, he just couldn’t. And… what if he was awake now? Because of his nightmares? Then he surely could need Jinyoung to talk to, make him feel better! But what if Yugyeom didn’t want to talk to him because of what happened that day?

Jinyoung’s thoughts were going a hundred miles an hour and when he looked at the time, he realizes that it’s already 4am and _he needs to sleep_.

But before he could turn towards the wall to try to get some rest, his phone started vibrating. Jinyoung immediately got into a sitting position, grabbing his phone to find a text waiting for him.

 

**yugyeom:**

**hyung… are you awake?**

A smile spread on Jinyoung’s face before he bit his lip.

 

**You:**

**Yeah, I am. Why are you?**

**yugyeom:**

**I had a bad nightmare ;;;**

**You:**

**Oh… You wanna talk about it?**

**yugyeom:**

**idk…**  
**maybe…**  
 **why are you up tho?**

**You:**

**No idea. I just can’t sleep.  
Do you want me to call you?**

**yugyeom:**

**yes please ;;;**

So Jinyoung did just that. As the phone rang, he picked at his blanket, suddenly nervous. Why was he so nervous!?

“Hyuuung,” the whiney voice came through the speaker and Jinyoung naturally smiled.

“What’s wrong, you big baby?”

“I’m not a baby,” Yugyeom said, but he was still whining. “I had a bad dream…”

Jinyoung lay back down, phone still by his ear. “Yeah, so you said. Do you want to talk about it or not?”

It was quiet on the other side, then Yugyeom answered: “I’d rather not.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” But he didn’t seem very sure. Jinyoung dropped it anyways. “But what about you? Why can’t you sleep?”

Jinyoung bit his lip as he stared at the ceiling. “I was just…” _Be a man, Park Jinyoung_. “Just worried about you.”

Once again, it was silent. Jinyoung was just about to ask if he said something wrong, when Yugyeom spoke up again: “Oh… really?”

“Of course,” Jinyoung answered without hesitation. “When have I ever not worried about you?”

“Didn’t you hate me? When we were kids?”

Now, a few years ago, Jinyoung would’ve definitely said that he hated Yugyeom. But now, whenever he looked back at his childhood, he realized he had never hated the boy. He always was worried about him, always wanted him to be okay. Honestly, he kind of felt responsible for him. “I never hated you,” he ended up saying. “I was annoyed every now and then, sure, we have a little age difference and I was quite jealous of you sometimes, but hate? Yah, Kim Yugyeom. I wouldn’t have cuddled with you every night if I hated you.”

He heard Yugyeom giggle slightly, as if embarrassed and Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile at that. “I thought you only cuddled with me so I wouldn’t wake you up with my nightmares.”

“Well, that was the reason in the beginning,” Jinyoung explained, closing his eyes. “But then I got used to it and you were always so warm.”

“Hyung,” Yugyeom whined now, probably thrashing in bed based on the sound of blankets rustling. “Stop saying stuff like that…”

“Do you hate it?”

Yugyeom made a funny sound. “I don’t hate it… It’s just… I’m not used to that…”

“Used to what?”

“To you… talking to me like that.”

Jinyoung nodded, although Yugyeom couldn’t see that. “I get it. I’ll just have to talk to you like this more!”

He was aware that he was flirting. Flirting with a straight guy, and not any guy, the person he always wanted to protect, no matter what.

There was another giggle from Yugyeom, followed by a sigh. “I’m so tired, hyung… But I’m scared to fall asleep again…”

And then Jinyoung’s mouth moved on its own accord. “Do you want me to come over?”

“Wha—no! Hyung, it’s 4am! Almost 5am!”

“So?”

“I’m not letting you drive over here at 5am,” Yugyeom exclaimed, sounding astonished.

Jinyoung hummed. “You sure?”

“Yes. You don’t need to do that for me.”

 _I would do anything for you_ , Jinyoung thought, but he didn’t say it. Instead he just nodded once again. “Okay, if you say that. Do you want to keep talking then?”

Yugyeom sighed once again before answering: “Yes, please.”

They ended up talking about everything and nothing in particular at the same time. About their childhood, about work, about their friends and how annoyed they were by Jaebeom’s and Youngjae’s back and forth. About anything, really.

At some point, once Jinyoung was done with a rather long story, Yugyeom didn’t answer. Upon listening closer, Jinyoung noticed that the younger had fallen asleep.

A smile graced his lips as he held the phone closer to his ear, listening to Yugyeom’s even breathing.

It didn’t take long for Jinyoung to fall asleep himself, getting lulled into a dreamland, knowing that Yugyeom is, as of right now, not in pain, but in peaceful slumber.

* * *

 

When Yugyeom woke up, it wasn’t due to a nightmare, which surprised him a little. He sat up slowly, noticing how his phone slid off his pillow. He picked it up and noticed how he was still on line with Jinyoung. Holding the phone to his ear, Yugyeom could hear Jinyoung’s even breaths, which made him smile.

“Thank you, hyung,” Yugyeom whispered as he ended the 5 hour long call.

When Yugyeom left his room he found Youngjae lying on the couch, eating cereal while he watched cartoons.

“What a way to start the day,” Yugyeom mused as he came closer, successfully making the older jump from surprise.

“Oh my g—“ Youngjae sat up to glare at his flat mate. “I could’ve dropped my cereal! And then you would have had to get rid of the stains in the couch!”

Yugyeom looked at him in fake horror. “Oh no, how horrible!”

Youngjae just huffed as he looked the younger up and down. “How did you sleep?”

“Eventually pretty well, actually,” Yugyeom answered, sitting down next to the older.

Youngjae raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? How many nightmares?”

“Just one, actually.”

“One?” Youngjae sat up straight, eyes huge. “How come?”

Yugyeom actually managed to blush, just by thinking about Jinyoung and the worry that was in his voice. “Uhm… I texted Jinyoung and he asked if he could call me, so—“

“Okay, got it,” the older rolled his eyes. “That man is your rock, huh?”

Biting his lip, Yugyeom nodded. “I suppose he is. He kinda always was…”

Youngjae didn’t say anything else, just patted Yugyeom’s head with a small smile on his lips.

 

It was BamBam’s idea to meet for dinner.

So they all found themselves in a burger shop around the corner, all mashed into a single booth. Yugyeom was sandwiched between Jinyoung and Mark, while next to Jinyoung sat Jackson, BamBam on his right side. On the far end sat Youngjae and Jaebeom, already in their own world.

Jackson was chatting up a storm, turning to everyone while talking about the party and how shit-drunk he got. Bam was watching him with the utmost admiration. It was honestly kind of cute.

Next to Yugyeom, Mark was silently eating his food, only nodding along to Jackson’s story and sometimes laughing out loud, but mostly he was busy with his burger.

Jinyoung, on the other hand, seemed to not really listen to whatever Jackson was spouting. If Yugyeom was honest, he felt the elder’s gaze on him much more often.

At some point it kinda got too much. “What’s wrong, hyung?” Yugyeom asked quietly, looking at Jinyoung intently.

“Uh,” Jinyoung said, staring at the younger for a few seconds before scratching the back of his head. “Nothing’s wrong. Just—uh, how are you doing? How did you sleep?”

Yugyeom nodded, taking a bite out of his own burger. “I slept well, thanks to you,” he answered, knowing that his cheeks were probably red now, but decided not to care about that. “And I’m okay. What about you? You didn’t sleep a lot either…”

“I’m fine,” Jinyoung said, smiling at Yugyeom. “As long as you’re fine, I’m fine, too.”

And if Yugyeom’s cheeks hadn’t been red before, they definitely were now. He whined a little as he buried his face in Jinyoung’s shoulder, who in turn released a laugh.

“Honestly, do you two have to be like this in public?” Mark’s voice was close to Yugyeom’s ear, which made the youngest jump a little. He turned to the oldest, who had an eyebrow raised. “I know you two are close, but people are staring.”

And truth be told, some people were giving them some weird looks, so Yugyeom just stared at his food, his cheeks still not able to cool down.

But Jinyoung didn’t seem to care much about the people around them, he started patting Yugyeom’s head affectionately, before moving the hand to the small of his back, rubbing contently. “Let them stare. It’s none of their business how we act around each other.”

Yugyeom knew Jinyoung was right, of course he was, but he still felt the warmth spread through his entire body when Jinyoung touched him so carefully. And he started to wonder if maybe he never got over his first love. Maybe this was more than a crush. Maybe Yugyeom was still in love with Jinyoung. Maybe he would always be.

And maybe that wasn’t as bad as he originally thought.


	10. It looks like you’re two seconds away from kissing him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay  
> listen  
> I'm so sorry.  
> I'm trash, I know that. I've made everyone wait for months and now this chapter also sucks, like--  
> and I left everyone hanging, I'm a horrible person, I know, but let's-- skip this pity party.
> 
> From now on, I'll try to answer ever comment, I'll really try. I'm bad at that. But I'll try. Please be patient with me.
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy this shitty short chapter, I really hope the next one won't take that long. Love you ♥

Once dinner was over, everyone decided to go their own ways. They stood outside of the restaurant, everyone biting each other goodbyes, until the only people standing in the cold were Yugyeom, Youngjae, BamBam, Jaebeom and Jinyoung.

“I’ll drive you home,” Jinyoung had said, looking at everyone, though his gaze lingered on Yugyeom, who averted his eyes in an instant.

Youngjae pouted next to him. “So, you’re just gonna drop us off? Hyung, Yugyeom slept so well when you stayed over, maybe you should sleep over again! We don’t mind, do we, Bam?” He looked at BamBam but didn’t even wait for an answer before he turned back to Jinyoung. “We don’t mind.”

Jinyoung stood there with his mouth agape, as Yugyeom pushed Youngjae away slightly. “Don’t listen to him, hyung. Just drop us off, we’ll have work tomorrow, so—”

“You work at the same place, you can just drive to work together—” Youngjae was cut short when Yugyeom clasped his hand over his friend’s mouth to shut him up.

Jinyoung observed them quietly, with a little smile playing on his face, before he heaved a long sigh. “Right, I won’t be able to stay over,” he said, his eyes still on Yugyeom, who know looked a bit—disappointed? Jinyoung definitely liked _that_. “But, how about this? Yugyeom can grab his things and sleep over at my place?”

Youngjae’s eyes immediately lit up, honestly, Jinyoung had never seen him that excited. “Yes! Good idea, hyung! That’s what we’re doing, come on! Let’s get home!” He took it upon himself to shove both Jaebeom and BamBam into the car before jumping in himself, giving the other two time to talk about that plan. (At least that was what Jinyoung supposed he did)

Yugyeom looked after Youngjae, shaking his head in disappointment. His eyes wandered to Jinyoung and he sighed. “I’m sorry about that, hyung… I don’t know what has gotten into him…” Once again, Yugyeom shook his head. “Just drop us off, it’s fine.”

Jinyoung nodded along, before pursing his lips. “What if I don’t want to?”

Yugyeom took a double take and almost chocked on his spit. “I—what do you mean?”

“What if I don’t want to just drop you off? What if I want you to come home with me?”

Was he too daring? Probably. Did he care? Not in the slightest. ~~(Hotel? Trivago.)~~

Almost immediately, Yugyeom’s cheeks caught on fire. “Do you… do you mean it, hyung? Am I not too annoying?”

Jinyoung shook his head, looking at Yugyeom fondly. “Not at all, Gyeomie. I like being with you, it reminds me of childhood, makes me feel young.”

“Heol,” Yugyeom exclaimed, eyes big. “You really don’t want to get old, huh? It’s okay, hyung. You will find someone who can love you before you become gray.”

Immediately, Jinyoung balled his fist and hit Yugyeom’s arm lightly, who tried to jump away, squealing like a schoolgirl.

Jaebeom opened the passenger seat’s door to glare at the two of them. “Come on, you two. I still have work to do.”

Jinyoung heard Youngjae complain, telling Jaebeom to let them flirt for a bit longer. He was sure that Yugyeom heard it too, because once again his cheeks turned a bright red.

“Let’s head in,” he said, clearing his throat as he got into the car.

Not being able to suppress it, Jinyoung smiled as he walked around the car to get into the driver’s seat, noticing immediately how Youngjae questioning the youngest about the talk they just had. Jinyoung grinned at this picture before starting the car and pulling out of the driving spot. He felt Jaebeom’s eyes on him, but decided not to turn to meet them. It was safer like this.

 

As promised, Jinyoung stopped in front of Yugyeom’s place so Youngjae and BamBam could jump off while Yugyeom got his things.

While sitting in the car, Jaebeom turned to Jinyoung, clearing his throat. When the younger of the two didn’t react, Jaebeom sighed. “Listen here, Jinyoungie—”

“Don’t,” Jinyoung warned, glancing over. “I know what you’re trying to tell me.”

Jaebeom raised an eyebrow. “You do? Then answer me. Because whenever you look at him it looks like you’re two seconds away from kissing him.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes before he finally glanced at Jaebeom. “You wouldn’t know, but that’s exactly what you look like when Youngjae is in the room.”

“So, you’re telling me you like Yugyeom.”

“Hyung—” Jinyoung started but shut his mouth when the car door opened and Yugyeom jumped into the backseat, a duffle bag thrown over his shoulder.

He grinned at Jinyoung and then Jaebeom. “I’m ready, hyungs, let’s get going!”

Automatically, a smile settled on Jinyoung’s face as he looked into his rearview mirror. He definitely felt Jaebeom glancing at him, but he ignored it. “Then let’s get going!”

 

They arrived at Jaebeom’s and Jinyoung’s place after a fairly awkward car ride. Jinyoung really hoped that Yugyeom didn’t feel the awkward atmosphere between the roommates.

Right now, the young man walked around the flat, looking around curiously.

Jinyoung cleared his throat as he went over to Yugyeom and put his arm around his waist. “Come on, I’ll show you my room.”

He felt Jaebeom’s eyes burning a hole through his back, but he didn’t turn around and released the breath he was holding when he closed the door to his room behind him.

Yugyeom looked at him, obviously trying to read his thoughts.

Jinyoung then noticed that his hand was still very much on Yugyeom’s hip, so he recoiled and coughed into his fist. “Uhh—this is my room. We’ll be sleeping in the same bed, right?”

A smirk settled on Yugyeom’s lips and Jinyoung wanted to kiss it off. “That’s why I came, isn’t it?” He threw his duffle bag to the side before throwing himself onto Jinyoung’s bed. “Ahhh, comfy.”

Jinyoung smiled, seeing Yugyeom thrash around on his bed. This felt oddly… _domestic_.

Suddenly, Yugyeom heaved himself up, leaning on his forearms, looking at Jinyoung for a few seconds before the latter cleared his throat. “What is it?”

“You seem so nervous.”

Heat rose to Jinyoung’s cheeks and he wanted to curse. “I’m not—”

But Yugyeom was already standing, walking over to the older to grab his hand and pull him forwards. Yugyeom walked until his legs hit his legs and he fell backwards, basically pulling Jinyoung on top of him.

Yugyeom was laughing loudly, Jinyoung on the other hand was hyperaware of their position, so he took his weight off of the younger, having his hands next to Yugyeom’s head, while his knees were caging his hips. _Not a better position at all, you idiot!_

The laughing suddenly stopped, as Yugyeom looked up at him, Jinyoung not being able to look away from the younger’s eyes.

They stayed like this for what must’ve been seconds, although to Jinyoung it felt like minutes, when Yugyeom reached his hand out and touched Jinyoung’s right cheek.

Normally, Jinyoung would jolt away, but for some reason he was rooted to the bed and when he saw Yugyeom smile softly, he wanted nothing more than to dive down and cover his neck in hickeys, claiming him—maybe Jinyoung was a bit possessive.

“You good?” Yugyeom asked, his voice soft and sweet, as his thumb started to caress Jinyoung’s cheek.

But Jinyoung just nodded as he studied Yugyeom’s face some more, smiling softly as Yugyeom grew fidgety underneath him. “And you?”

Yugyeom stared up at him, eyes going wide, as if he came to realize something. “I—ah, I have to use the toilet…”

So Jinyoung rolled off Yugyeom, still smiling, as the younger immediately ran out of the room, his face shaded nicely red.

Sighing, suddenly in a much better mood, Jinyoung put his hands to his cheeks, feeling warmth seep from them.

It felt like he was in love for the first time again—like just one person could be his entire world… And this time it didn’t feel unrequited.

 

Maybe life was actually being kind to him for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can yell at me on twitter _@yugyeomsies_  
>  or tumblr _jin-gyeom.tumblr.com_


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